Yes, were keeping them hostage!
by venus-7251
Summary: UPDATED! Wonder what would happen if a crazy fanfic author by the name of venus725 locked a bunch of Harry Potter characters in her basement? Let's see!
1. Too Long To Fit

Title: Yes, I'm keeping them hostage! Author: Venus725 Summary: I wonder what would happen if a crazy fanfic author by the name of Venus725 captured a bunch of Harry Potter and Star Wars characters and put them in her basement? Let's find out!!!!!! Genre: Humor Rating: PG-13 (for now.hehehe) Disclaimer: No, I own nothing. Note: Hehehe. We shall have some fun with this little ficcie. Those of you who like randomness will enjoy lots. And, if any of you reviewers are daring enough, and also have an obsession for any character from HP or SW that's in the story or anyone else that I might know (for a crossover), I would happily put you in for a psycho fanfic author with an obsession. Please do tell me.and read on:  
  
"Well yes, but what about second breakfast?" Peregrin Took (more commonly known as Pippin), Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Ring  
  
Chapter 1- Shhh.be verwy, verwy quiet.I'm hunting HP and SW chawacters.  
  
Shhh.be verwy, verwy quiet.I'm hunting Harry Potter and Star Wars characters. Hello there, yes, I am Venus725! Today, and for many more days hopefully, I have held in my basement the following that I and many others will torture: Harry Potter, the dirty boy that lived, Draco Malfoy, the sexy sarcastic Slytherin, Ron Weasley, the poor yet handsome "Normal" guy, Hermione Granger, the brainy know-it-all Muggleborn, Neville Longbottom, the dorky ditz, Ginny Weasley, the very horny little girl that remarkably resembles Satine from Moulin Rouge, two thick cronies by the names of Crabbe and Goyle, and our lovely host, Venus725!!! (In other words, me!) Our Star Wars guest for today will be.the faithful Jedi Master (Who isn't whiny like Anakin) Obi-Wan Kenobi! We will start with a few rules.  
  
Number 1: NO boring moments and number 2: NO making fun of the host (or co- host)! But you can ask questions for a character in your reviews, and suggestions or requests are always accepted! Now that I'm done talking, let's go to the basement and see what's happening:  
  
Zoom Camera takes us to the basement.(a very.er.interesting room with these things: a sandy colored carpet, a wooden coffee table, a blue couch, a maroon recliner, a small bathroom, a hockey table, a TV and VCR, a lamp, all sorts of hippie things *cough, mom and dad, cough* and of course, our characters)  
  
(All have been in a enchanted sleep.they now awaken.hehehe, this shall be fun!)  
  
Ron: Where are we?  
  
Harry: I dunno.looks like a muggle basement with lots of hippie junk!!!  
  
Neville: What? Hippie junk? What's a hippie? *Scratches head*  
  
Hermione: Never mind! *Mutters* Boys.  
  
Ginny: (In seductive voice) I like boys.*Eyes Harry's pants*  
  
Harry: Um.ok.maybe we should focus on something like GETTING OUT OF HERE!  
  
Draco: For once, a Gryffindor finally had a good idea.  
  
Crabbe and Goyle: Uh huh.  
  
Ginny: Who are you? *Looks at Obi-Wan with a small seductive smile*  
  
Obi-Wan: Hello. I am Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Master. Where is my apprentice? *Looks around*  
  
Hermione: OH MY GOD!!!!! OBI-WAN!!!!!!!!!  
  
Harry: Hermione.calm down.he's just from Star Wars.  
  
Ginny and Ron: Oh, yeah, those Muggle movies.  
  
Draco: Yeah, whatever.*Sigh* Where the hell are we, and who in god's name put us here?  
  
Deep Voice: It was I.*Breathes in and out, deeply, in and out, deeply*  
  
Hermione and Harry: James Earl Jones?  
  
Voice: NO!!! Venus725, crazy fanfic author! *Takes away voice modifier* Duh!  
  
Neville: Where are you? Where are we? What happened? What did you do?  
  
Venus725: I'm glad I put you down as a dorky ditz.  
  
Neville: I'm not a dorky ditz! *Stands up, fist raised, and trips*  
  
Venus: Yeah, sure.*Rolls eyes* I'm up here, writing this very fic as we speak. And you are in my very scary basement/family room. I'm very sorry about the hippie stuff *Cough.mom and dad.cough*. Anyway, for my own sick pleasure, you are stuck here.till I let you go!!!!!!!!!! HAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Harry: She is insane.  
  
Venus: Yeah.but you can't talk, Scarhead!  
  
Draco: I kind of like her.  
  
Venus: Really? *Comes down into basement* I think your dead sexy. *Bats eyelashes*  
  
Draco: *Stands and bows* I'm very flattered. *Puts on his ever so sexy "bad- boy" smile*  
  
Venus: And Obi-kins!!!! *Runs to Obi-Wan and gives him a hug*  
  
Obi-Wan: *Being hugged* You're cute, but I'm a bit too old for you. Besides, that would be against the code.  
  
Venus: *Sigh* that's okay.because there's still Ron and Draco!!!!!  
  
Draco: (In shock) Weasley?  
  
Ron: (In shock) Me? *All eye him* I mean, yeah, me, of course me!!!  
  
Venus: He makes me laugh.  
  
Draco: Oh.  
  
Venus: And you make me drool.*Prepares to drool*  
  
Draco: *Smirks* Hehehe.I am a ladies man.and a chic magnet.actually, I'm downright adorable.  
  
Ron: You sound a little pompous, too.  
  
Draco: *Eyes start to flash*  
  
Harry: Bet no one in here is as vain as you, Malfoy.  
  
Venus: *Puts mirror away*  
  
Ginny: *Puts brush away*  
  
Obi-Wan: *Puts shiny comlink that he was looking at for his reflection away*  
  
Ron: Ok.we were wrong.  
  
Venus and Ginny: What? We're girls!!!  
  
All: *Look at Obi-Wan*  
  
Obi: I can't help it that I'm sexy.  
  
Venus: He's right ya know. *Smiles at Obi-Wan*  
  
Ginny and Draco: Yeah, I guess I know what you mean.*Eye each other*  
  
Draco: You're not sexy.  
  
Ginny: Then who is? Not you!  
  
Venus: I am!  
  
All: *Stare*  
  
Venus: Hey, I look like Natalie Portman, only tanner and taller! What could be sexier besides Halle Berry? Man, I wish I looked like her.I could get Hayden then.(Wow.that sounded odd.maybe I should watch what I say from now on.)  
  
Ron: She has a point.  
  
Obi-Wan: Natalie Portman?  
  
Venus: Senator Amidala, Obi-kins.  
  
Obi: Oh.  
  
Draco: I AM TOO SEXY!!!!!  
  
Ginny: NO YOUR NOT!!!!  
  
Draco: YES I AM!!!!!!!!  
  
Ginny: NO YOUR NOT!!!!!  
  
Venus and Obi-Wan: Yeah he is.  
  
All: *Look at Obi-Wan*  
  
Neville: I'm scared.  
  
Venus: *Sigh* Neville, we all know your gay, so shut up!  
  
Neville: I am not gay!  
  
All: Yeah, sure!  
  
Neville: Hey, Obi-Wan just said something clearly gayer than anything I've said in the last five minutes!  
  
All: *Look at Obi-Wan again*  
  
Obi-Wan: What? I can't help it that he's sexy!  
  
Draco: He's got a point.  
  
Venus: True. It's settled, Neville's gay, and Obi-kins isn't.  
  
Harry: So, why have you captured us?  
  
Venus: Scarhead, it's very obvious.to torture you. Well, not exactly torture you, but let others torture you with questions and other such things.I guess this is a talkshow/scary fanfic.IT SHALL BE FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Harry: Okay then.  
  
Ginny: Harry, wanna makeout?  
  
Harry: NO!!!!!! *Is alarmed*  
  
Ginny: Obi-Wan, wanna makeout?  
  
Obi-Wan: No thank you, that's against the code.  
  
Ginny: Ron, wanna makeout?  
  
Ron: NO!!!!!!!!!!! MY SISTER IS A F**CKING WEIRDO!!!!!!!!! THAT'S INCEST!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I WANT MY MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!! *Starts to sob*  
  
Venus: Hehe.*Cough* Luke, Leia *Cough* Ooh.*Walks over to him in recliner* There, there, baby. *Rocks him back and forth* It's okay. *Gives him a big hug and small kiss on the cheek*  
  
Ron: *Stops crying* Thanks. *Blows nose with the handkerchief she was holding out for him*  
  
All: *Stare blankly*  
  
Venus: I take advantage of HOT people when they're sad.  
  
Ron: I've been used.COOL!!!!!!!  
  
Draco: What an idiot.  
  
Harry: Do you hear something?  
  
Ron: Yeah.sounds like a ringing.  
  
Draco: It's called a doorbell, you numbskulls.*rolls eyes*  
  
Venus: Ooo.my buddy is here!!!!!!! (Runs upstairs, then comes back down with a short girl with blonde hair, a few freckles, and blue eyes)  
  
Venus: Guys, this is my best friend Alex!!!!!!!  
  
Alex: Hello.*Sees Draco Malfoy* OH MY GOD, DRACO!!!!!! *Runs to him and starts to pester him*  
  
Venus: Uhh.she's a big fan of Tom Felton a.k.a. Draco Malfoy.she's more of a fan than even I am.and that's scary.  
  
Draco: *Panicked* Get her off of me, please!!!!  
  
All except Venus: *laugh*  
  
Venus: It's not funny, guys.poor Draco.and Alex.Alex, get off of him, he won't like you if you're a crazy fan girl, trust me, I know from experience!  
  
Alex: *Stops and stands* Ohh.*Smiles at Draco and puts out a hand* Nice to meet you, please excuse my behavior.  
  
Draco: *Shakes her hand with an uneasy smile* Sure.  
  
Venus: Good.Alex will be my co-host.but I still want guest fanfic co-hosts too.*Smiles at all reviewers* You all will receive cookies for reviewing!!!!!! *Hands cookies to reviewers*  
  
Alex: Wait, I want a cookie, too.  
  
Venus: No, these are for the reviewers.  
  
Alex: F*** YOU THEN!!!!!  
  
Reviewers: Mmmmm.yummy.*Take cookies*  
  
Venus: she has a cursing problem.and is also an Ozzy Osbourne fan, if you know what I mean.  
  
Alex: I am not!  
  
Venus: Oh right.that's me.whoops.BLOODY HELL, SHARON!  
  
Alex: Damn straight I'm not an Ozzy freak!!!!!  
  
All except for them: yeah.sure.  
  
Harry: She's even crazier then the fricken' host!  
  
Alex: Hey.I thought you were cute, you know.BUT if your gonna act like an asshole I just don't know.  
  
Harry: You thought I was cute? FINALLY, DAMN IT!  
  
Venus: I think you're cute too.  
  
Harry: Then why do you pick on me?  
  
Venus and Alex: Because you're an easy target, and it's funny.*Look at each other and do their secret handshake*  
  
Neville: Secret handshakes are for losers!  
  
Alex: Then what's your secret handshake, you gay wad? Neville: For the last time, I'M NOT GAY!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Venus: Ok, would you STOP fighting already!!!  
  
Alex: But why? They are all such easy targets, except for Draco I mean.*bats eyelashes innocently*  
  
Draco: I know but do you have to keep flirting, BLOODY HELL IT GETS ANNOYING!!!!!  
  
Alex: Sorry Draco, but I can't help it if you're SEXY!!!!  
  
Draco: I am, aren't I?  
  
Obi-Wan: Yes you are.  
  
All: *stare*  
  
Obi: I'm gonna shut-up now.  
  
Venus: Alex, we already cleared the fact that Obi-Kins isn't gay.  
  
Alex: He said it, not me.  
  
Venus: But you're the one that suggested it!  
  
Alex: Yeah, and????  
  
Ron: Wow.*stares at Alex dreamily and starts to drool* what a girl. *Drools some more*  
  
Venus: Hey!!!! Darn.oh well.there's still hope for Harry and Draco, right?  
  
Alex: NO!!! DRACO IS MINE!!!!!!!!!! You can have Ron. But I GET DRACO!!!! Besides I think Ron is an ugly bastard!  
  
Venus: But Ron likes you.and you already scared Draco out of his mind.  
  
Alex: So what.I don't give a F***!!!!!! HE'S MINE!!!!!!! Draco: No, I'm mine!!!! But you can have Potty or the Weasel, or if you want, have them both.  
  
Venus: *Rolls eyes* yeah well, I know I don't own you, but since I'm strong in the force, have the same IQ as Hermione, and am being mentored by Yoda, Gandalf, Dumbledore, and Morpheus, then I could make you love me in a million different ways!!!!!  
  
Alex: Not to mention she's the host and could torture you in many ways, in a way she does own you.not to mention I could also torture you because I'm the co-host and could make Venus do just about anything.  
  
Venus: Hey.I resent that.even if it is true.oh well, I forgive you, cause you're my friend! *Huggles Alex*  
  
Alex: thanks! *Huggles back*  
  
All guys: *Watch intently*  
  
Hermione: What is so interesting?  
  
Ginny: Boys get horny when two girls hug each other, I don't know why, I mean, they're just hugging each other, and their friends.  
  
Ron: *Stops watching and turns to them* Well, she's mostly right, I don't exactly know why I get horny when I see two girls hugging.  
  
Boys: *Turn back into normal selves as hosts stop hugging*  
  
Venus: Horny little bastards.  
  
Alex: So you see, Draco, in a sense, I do own you.  
  
Draco: Were back to this?  
  
Venus: No, let's change the subject.  
  
Ron: Okay.Alex, do you know how to waltz?  
  
Alex: No.not really.kind of, I guess.why?  
  
Ron: Um.I do.  
  
Alex: And?  
  
Ron: *Blushes* Can I teach you?  
  
Alex: Why would I want to dance with a fricken' ugly redheaded bastard like you?  
  
Ginny: I resent that, I'm a redhead!  
  
Alex: *Gives her the finger*  
  
Venus: Your dirtier than I thought you were.so just dance with him so he won't whine! Trust me, you don't want him to whine.*Gulp*  
  
Alex: You dance with him!  
  
Venus: You know I would, cause he's hot, but he likes you and asked you.so stand up and get ready to PARTAY!!!!!!!!! *Turns on waltz music*  
  
Ron: *Stands eagerly*  
  
Alex: Hey Ron, I'll make a deal with you, get Draco to kiss me and I'll dance with you.  
  
Ron: Draco old buddy old pal.  
  
Draco: Hell no.  
  
Alex: No kiss, no dance.  
  
Ron: Please, Draco, please.  
  
Draco: Don't beg, you look like a dog.  
  
Ron: Please.  
  
Draco: Bugger off, you insolent vermin!  
  
Alex: Damn!  
  
Venus: But I want to use this music! Wait.can anyone teach me how to waltz?  
  
Harry: I would, but I don't know how.  
  
Venus: Draco.?  
  
Draco: I would, because I'm a gentleman, but I don't want your friend to kill us.  
  
Venus: Okay.Obi-Wan? Ron?  
  
Ron: Hell no.your not fine like her.  
  
Venus: You little bitch.*Starts to cry*  
  
Draco and Harry: Ron, that wasn't nice.*Look at each other and glare*  
  
Alex: No one talks to my friend like that you little bitchy pervert *Punches Ron*.oh wait.I got a nanogram for you: I fit iron dick.  
  
Ron: Umm.okay.uh.let's see.carry the o.change the dick.umm.  
  
Alex: Can't get it? It's FRICKEN IDIOT!  
  
Venus: That's from Austin Powers in Goldmember!!!!!  
  
Alex: I know.you're obsessed, that's how I remember.  
  
Draco: *Celebrates* I kinda like her now.  
  
Venus: *Teary eyes* Not as much as me though, right?  
  
Draco: Ummm.I dunno.maybe because you weren't the one that molested me.  
  
Venus: *Celebrates*  
  
Alex: Hey!  
  
Draco: Don't hurt me!  
  
Alex: That's a turnoff.  
  
Venus: Not for me!  
  
Alex: You bitch, I still really like him dumbass!!!!!  
  
Venus: I'd say really obsessed with him, but yeah, like will work too.ok, sure.But who's gonna dance with me?  
  
Neville: I will.  
  
Venus: Hell no!!!! Obi-Wan.please.I'm not as annoying as Anakin.if not, will you sing?  
  
Obi-Wan: all right, but I won't sing.maybe next episode when you have reviewers.  
  
Venus: *Sniffles* Okay.*Glares at Ron* Bitchy pervert. (Venus and Obi-Wan go to the middle of the floor and start to waltz)  
  
Obi-Wan: One two three, one two three, one two three.  
  
Venus: *Drooling*  
  
Ginny and Hermione: This is romantic.  
  
Alex: *Sneaks over to Draco and sits next to him*  
  
Venus and Obi-Wan: *Stop dancing*  
  
Venus: That was nice.thank you.  
  
Obi-Wan: My pleasure.  
  
Alex: Draco, can I be your hoe?  
  
Draco: Well, I.  
  
Ron: Be my hoe!  
  
Venus: You little bitch!  
  
Ron: Sorry, but I like blondes.*Stares at Alex* I like them because supposedly their easy.  
  
Alex: YOU FUCKING HORNY GAY BASTARD! I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR MOTHER FUCKING ASSWIPE YOU CALL A FUCKING ASS!!!!!!!! DRACO HAS AN ASS, AND YOU HAVE A FUCKING WALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BITCH! FUCKER! MOTHER FUCKER! YOU CAN ROTT IN FUCKING HELL, WITH THE FUCKING DEVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND GUESS WHAT, HE PROBABLY HAS A FUCKING BETTER ASS THAN YOU TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone except Alex and Ron: Damn.  
  
Venus: Okay.  
  
Ron: Umm.MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Draco: Maybe you can be my hoe.wait, what's a hoe?  
  
Ginny: You don't want to know.  
  
All: *Stare at her oddly*  
  
Ginny: Um.I've never once in my life been a lesbian and used female or male prostitution.*Gulp*  
  
Venus: Sure.  
  
Alex: *cough* WHATEVER! *cough*  
  
Draco: Wow this is getting scary.  
  
Venus: Rigggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh.t. I said it like Dr. Evil, another one of my mentors! *Puts pinky to her lips*  
  
Alex: Uhh.yeah.  
  
Venus: Well, this is getting scary, so we should probably let some reviewers review.  
  
Alex: Wait, what about my cookie?????  
  
Venus: No fucking cookie, maybe next time with some blue milk (That's right, AnakinsOnlyAngel, I like it too!) Anyways.  
  
So that's why we need your help with questions, fights, and ideas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If there are any authors that wish to help me torture full time, please contact me through reviews, or email me at my email address, which is shown in my account! *Puts on astoundingly convincing fake British accent* Good day old chaps!!!!!!!  
  
Venus: SAY GOODBYE!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
All: Bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Harry: *Mutters* Psychos.  
  
Venus and Draco: Shut up, Scarhead. *Look at each other and smile*  
  
So send in reviews with questions and ideas for those HP blokes, and of course Obi-Wan.and if you want, me and Alex.I'm warning beforehand it'll be not too pleasant, and tell me who you want the next Star Wars character(s) to be, if you don't mind.ciao!!!!!!!!!! 


	2. An Obsessed MarySue

Title: Yes, I'm keeping them hostage!

Author: Venus725

Summary: I wonder what would happen if an obsessed fanfic author by the name of Venus725 locked some Harry Potter and Star Wars characters in her basement?  Let's see!

Genre: Humor

Rating: PG-13 (for now…hehehe)

Disclaimer: No, I own nothing.

Note: I would like to thank all the reviewers personally!  It will be at the end of the chapter, and please keep reviewing!

Chapter 2-

An Obsessed Mary-Sue

Venus: Hey guys?  How ya hanging???????

Alex: Don't try to act ghetto, it's really annoying! 

Venus: I am NOT acting ghetto!!!!!

Draco: What is ghetto???

Venus: well, its…well, never mind!  Anyways, we have reviewers!!!!!!!  YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  *Does the electric slide*

Alex: *Eye roll* God…the electric slide, _again_!!!!!!!

Venus: *Stops dancing* your just pissed because King (my school) beat your school in the contest!!!!

Alex: *Huffy* whatever…*Pouts* my school _should_ have won…

Draco and Harry: can we just get on with the show? *Eye each other and glare*

Venus: Yeah, sure…anyways, our first guest is…drum roll please…*drum roll* Sasami Jurai!!!!!  *Sasami Jurai appears out of nowhere*  

Ron: Muggles apparate!!!!

Alex: Puh-lease…*whacks him on the head with a pop bottle*

Ron: Owww!  *Rubs head* oh…wait, it's you…*dreamy grin*

Venus: Give me a break…

Hermione: Give me a break, give me a break, break me off a piece of that-

Alex: Kit-kat bar!!!!!! *Giggles*

Hermione: *giggles*

Everyone else: o-kay…

Venus: *cough* that was…very…er…interesting…*cough* anyways, go ahead and ask your questions, Sasami!

Sasami: Venus/Alex, how can you guys think Draco is sexy? *Blink* 

Draco: Hey!!!

Sasami: I think he's kind of…well…not sexy.  *Hides in corner, prepared to be attacked by rabid fangirls*

Alex: *Eyes go wide*

Venus: Oh no…well, your right, in the books, Draco generally doesn't sound very sexy, anyways, but we mean in the movies, or in other words, Tom Felton is very sexy.  And as for fangirl…well, I still like Harry and Ron better, as in their character.  Actually, I'm starting to think that Daniel Radcliffe is getting quite as hot as Tom Felton, and I have always thought Rupert Grint was cute in his own way. 

Alex: *Face turns purple*

Venus: And you all might want to duck like…right now.

Alex: *Explodes*

Everyone else: *Ducking*

Alex: *Goes back to normal* Okay, sorry about that…

Everyone else: *Wide eyes*

Sasami: Yeah, so, my next question…Hermione, could I borrow your copy of _Hogwarts, A History_?  I hear it's a fascinating book!

Hermione: *Pulls out book* *hands* sure. *Smiles*

Sasami: Nobody loves poor Harry!  *Gives Harry a hug* FEEL LOVED, HARRY, FEEL FREAKIN' LOVED!!!!!!

Harry: *Sobs* finally!!!!  *Hugs back*

Venus: I like Harry…well; kind of…I want a hug too!  *Hugs Harry*

Alex: I want a hug…from Draco!!!!!

Ron: I want a hug…from Alex!!!!!

Draco: No way, no way, no way!

Alex: Ditto for you Ron…*Realizes what Draco means* hey!!!!

Venus: Okay, so maybe we could get back to the questions now guys?

All: *nod*

Sasami: Obi-Wan: Hi. 

Obi-Wan: *Smiles* Hello.  

Sasami: Sorry I can't contribute to the Star Wars voting thingy.  Not a Star Wars fan.  : D

Venus: *choke*

Alex: Oh no…um, you guys probably don't need to duck but I suggest plugging your ears or even better, earplugs!  *Puts in her handy earplugs*

Everyone else: Um…kay…*Plug ears*

Venus: IS THERE SUCH A THING???????????  OH MY GOD!!!!!!   *Deep breath*  I'm over it…

Sasami: Whew, good…anyway, here's my last question: would you terribly hate me if I were to be a rabid fan-host person?  *Points to chapter* You said you were looking for some, so…*cough*

Venus: Yeah, of course!!!!  Email me at the email shown in my account, ok?  We'll talk about it…possibly next chapter, too.  Anyway, thanks for reviewing, and I'd love for you to keep reviewing if you can!  Ciao!

Sasami: Bye guys!  *Loud pop and she's gone*

Venus: Ok, next reviewer is…MichealJacksonClayAikenluver!!!!

MichealJacksonClayAikenluver: Hey guys!  All I'd like to say is I recommend Yoda, Jar Jar, Luke, Leia, and…Fred and George Weasley!  And give Draco more lines or something, cuz he's my fave *innocent smile* 

Alex: And he should be too!!!!  I like you!

MichealJacksonClayAikenluver: O-kay…

Venus: Okay, that'll be fun!  Next time, guys, Fred and George, and I think we'll only have one Star Wars character an episode, so I'll make sure to put all ones you suggested.  Thanks!

MichealJacksonClayAikenluver: Bye! *Loud pop and she is gone too*

Alex: Why can't we just have Fred and George now?

Venus: You know, you're absolutely right!  We should not make the reviewers wait that long!  *Puts fingers to her head while all stare*  *Closes eyes*

Ron: What the bloody hell is she doing?

Obi-Wan: Concentrating on getting Fred and George, whoever they are anyways, here, most likely…wait, I'll get it, hold on…*Does the exact same thing with eyes open, staring at Venus* *Stops* Yep, I was right!

All: Oh.  

Venus: *Stops* Get ready…and someone move the coffee table.

Alex: *Pushes coffee table out of the way*

All except for Venus: What's happen-

(A loud pop is sounded and two red haired Weasleys are standing where the coffee table was)

Fred: George?

George: Blimey, that hurt, yes Fred?

Fred: Where the bloody hell are we, mate?

George: No idea.

Venus: Hello guys…

Both: *Confused* Um…hello…

Venus: Um, do you know where you are?

Both: Easy…no.

Venus: Well, I'm going to explain this so you won't hurt me-

Alex: She's locked you in her basement so people like her, me, and fanfic authors can torture you!  And so far, I haven't gotten one SINGLE cookie, Draco is scared of me, Ron loves me, Harry isn't loved by anyone, Ginny is horny, Hermione is just Hermione, Neville is gay and Obi-Wan from Star Wars isn't!  And this is all really crazy!!!!  And Ron was being a jerk by saying blondes is easy.

Both: Oh.

Fred: You talk fast.

George: Uh huh…wait, Ron, blondes aren't easy!  That's not very nice! *Smacks the top of Ron's head*

Alex: Yeah!

Ron: Owww…*Rubs his head*

Venus: Okay, we have more reviewers, people!  Next up is…Ronsgf4ever!  

(There is a loud pop and Ronsgf4ever has appeared)

Ronsgf4ever: Hey!  I just want to suggest putting an obsessed Mary-Sue in the show!!!!

Venus: Ooohhh…GREAT IDEA!!!!!  Thanks!

(There is _another_ loud pop, and Ronsgf4ever is gone)

Venus: I know just the obsessed person!  *Grabs telephone* *Dials number* Hey, Danny!  Yeah, wanna come over, I have this great Emma Watson picture you can have…kay, see you- Danny?  Danny?  DANNY?  Okay, he's coming in…5, 4, 3, 2, 1!

(Basement door bursts open revealing a lanky, dirty-blonde haired boy with a lot of zits)

Danny: I'm here, where's the picture, I- *Sees Hermione* Oh-my-GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Faints*

Hermione: Your not telling me that he's…he's…he's obsessed…with ME?

Alex: Yup, that's right. *Smiles* but better you than me!!!!

Hermione: OH-MY-GOD…THERE IS NO WAY THAT'S POSSIBLE!!!

Draco: That's very true, Mudblood…no one could EVER think _your_ pretty…*Gags*

Alex: Well, actually that's not entirely true, Darling…*smiles at him* because on fanfic, there are a lot of Draco/Hermione stories…

Draco: WHAT…THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE…ME FALL IN LOVE WITH A MUDBLOOD…THAT IS JUST FUCKING…NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alex: Sorry honey, that's just the way some people think…but I think that you would be better off with me…

Venus: Please…actually Draco, some of those stories are pretty good…I'm actually writing my own, but it's one of those funny I hate you but I like you ones…

Draco: I DON'T CARE…IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN…YOU WILL NEVER GET ME TO GO WITH THAT STUPID MUTT…

Hermione: SHUT UP MALFERRET…YOU STUPID-

Alex: NOW YOU WAIT RIGHT THERE…DRACO IS NOT STUPID…YOU ARE…BECAUSE YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY GAY OR SOMETHING…I MEAN ANY GIRL WITH A RIGHT MIND WOULD THINK THAT DRACO WAS THE HOTTEST GUY EVER!!!!!!

(All of a sudden Danny wakes up because of Alex and Hermione screaming at each other)

Danny: What…where am I…*starts to look around*

Hermione: Oh God…not again…

Alex: Hi Danny…you're in Lindsay's a.k.a Venus's basement…

Danny: Oh yeah…Venus was about to give me a picture of Emma Watson when…*looks around room and spots Hermione* *runs over to Hermione and does the same thing Alex did to Draco in the beginning* Can I be your love slave…

Venus: Danny…the answer is no, Draco…she's not ugly, get over it, Hermione…we all know that Draco is not stupid-

Alex: DAMN RIGHT…

Venus: Alex…Hermione is not gay or stupid…she is nice-

Hermione: Thank you…

Venus: and we both know that Draco is not exactly nice to the trio…so he has a right to be mean to them…and they have a right to be mean to him-

Alex: Whatever…

Venus: And we're going to get back to the reviewers…any questions…

Danny: What the hell is GOING ON?????

Venus: Alex, do you want to explain this one???

Alex: Sure…Danny…one of our reviewers said that we need an obsessed Mary-Sue type character-

Danny: But I'm not a girl…

Alex: That's not the point…you see…we needed someone obsessed with someone other than Draco for our fic…and you were the first to come to mind…

Danny: You mean these are actually real HP and Star Wars characters???

Hermione: Oh Gee…you're just an Einstein…aren't you?

Ron: Wait…who's Einstein?

Alex: Would every one stop with the damn interruptions? 

All except Alex: Sorry.

Alex: Anyways…yes Danny…these are the real characters…and yes Hermione…he is just little Einstein, isn't he…and as for you Ron…shut the hell up…

(All this time Ginny has been staring at Danny's pants dreamily)  

Ginny: Ooo…he's kinda cute…

Fred and George: Who?

Ginny: Duh…Danny is!

Alex and Venus: YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING…YOU'VE LOST YOUR MIND…HE'S NOT CUTE AT ALL!!!!

Danny: Hey…well considering I've known Alex since forever and Lindsay…well I've known her since 3rd grade I guess they are allowed to say that…

Alex: Anyways…Ginny I still think that you're out of your mind…

Ginny: I think that the only reason that you're saying this is because you like him…that's it you think that I might take your man…

Alex: Hold on, are you actually making the suggestion that I like Danny…I mean come on…he's more like a brother to me than a friend…I mean that would be just gross…

Ginny: Well it couldn't be as nasty as when I asked my brother to make-out with me…

Ron: Must we be reminded of that?

Alex and Ginny: Shut-up!!

Venus: Okay…lets just settle this already…

Alex: Why?

Venus: Because…okay…Ginny, Alex doesn't like Danny…Danny, Ginny really likes you…and Hermione, would you please give Danny a hug so he might possible stop complaining???

Hermione: *Hugs Danny*

Danny: Yeah…SHE HUGGED ME…SHE ACTUALLY HUGGED ME!!!!!

Alex and Venus: Danny…CALM DOWN…

Danny: Sorry…

Venus: Okay…now we seriously need to get back to the reviewers…

All: Okay…

Alex: Venus…can I introduce the next one…I mean you've introduced all of them so far…

Venus: Of course you can buddy…

Alex: Okay…and our next reviewer is…*drum roll*…PhoenixGirl1234567!

PhoenixGirl1234567: DRACO BELONGS TO ME! NO ONE ELSE SHALL HAVE HIM! *Evil laugh echoes through deserted castle*

Alex: *Face turns purple*

Venus: Here we go again…

Alex: *explodes again*

Venus: *whispers to Hermione*I wish people wouldn't do that sometimes…

Hermione: *giggles*

Alex: I'm back…anyways…

Danny: I didn't know you could do that…

Alex: That's because it's a hidden talent of mine…

Venus: Well I guess it isn't hidden anymore…you just put it all over the Internet twice…

Alex: Well…I could get all the people to forget…

Venus: How…you're not a Jedi…

Alex: Easy…Watch…*walks over to Ron*Hey, I have a favor to ask of you…

Ron: Who me?

Alex: I was wondering if you could get everyone to forget about my hidden talent…

Ron: I'm not that smart…

Alex: I'll give you a hug…

Ron: No, that's not a good enough bribe…

Alex: Fine a kiss on the cheek…and that's my final offer…

Ron: Yeah…I get a kiss from Alex, I get a kiss from Alex…*Alex gives Ron a very quick kiss on the cheek* (Ron tries to cast spell but it doesn't work)

Alex: You numbskull…I kissed you and you couldn't even cast a little spell-

Venus: *whispers to Alex*I know…why don't you just make Danny make-out with Hermione…I mean than they would all forget…

PhoenixGirl1234567: You know I'm still here right…

Venus: Oh yeah…be with you in a minute…

Alex: Hey Hermione…since Ron couldn't do that one little spell I have a favor to ask of you

Hermione: And when did I start doing you favors?

Alex: Please, Please, Please, PLEASE…

Hermione: No, No, No, NO…

Venus: Just do the damn favor…

Hermione: Fine…what is it?

Alex: I need you to make-out with Danny…

Hermione: Only if you do something for me…

Alex: What??

Hermione: Let me get back to you on that one…

Danny: Yeah…I get to make-out with Hermione…am I lucky or what?

Hermione: Okay…let's get this over with…*Danny and Hermione start to make-out* 

Harry: Why did Hermione do this again?

Ron: I don't know…I guess I forgot…

Ten Minutes Later… 

Venus: Okay…you guys can stop making–out anytime now…

(Danny and Hermione pull away)

Hermione: You know what…I didn't hate it…

Alex: That is so off "So Little Time"…

PhoenixGirl1234567: I'm still here…

Venus and Alex: Oh crap…we totally forgot about you…we're sorry…

PhoenixGirl1234567: Moving on…this line had me cracking up: Venus: *Rolls eyes* yeah well, I know I don't own you, but since I'm strong in the force, have the same IQ as Hermione, and am being mentored by Yoda, Gandalf, Dumbledore, and Morpheus, then I could make you love me in a million different ways!  
  


Venus: That was a funny line wasn't it?

Draco: And to think they said I was vain…

Venus: Hey one of our rules is: No making fun of the host/co-host…now I'm gonna have to do something to you to make up for it…

Draco: Like what…

Venus: I think that should be up to the reviewers…I think I'll let them make your life hell…

Draco: Please…don't make me kiss Alex…

Venus: Well, since you put the idea in my head

Draco: Please, please, please don't make me…

Venus: Hhhhhhmmmmmm…

Draco: I'll do anything…

Alex: Anything…

Draco: Not for you…

Alex: Don't forget…I can make Venus do just about anything…

(Alex and Draco keep arguing over the topic while Venus starts talking to the other reviewers)

Venus: Anyways…back to PhoenixGirl1234567…what was your next question?

PhoenixGirl1234567: I think you should have Jabba the Hut on the show...and the Ewoks! They are so cute!

Venus: Okay…thank you for revie-

PhoenixGirl1234567: Wait…I just have one more thing to add...Sasami Jurai, how can you NOT think that Draco is sexy?  
  


Venus: Okay…thanks…*another loud pop and PhoenixGirl1234567 disappears*

(Meanwhile, Alex and Draco are still arguing)

Harry: Are we almost done for today?

Venus: We only have one more reviewer…my good friend da-cool-princess1…*girl appears*

Da-cool-princess1: Hey, I have some things to ask…

Venus: Okay…

Da-cool-princess1: here's my questions: Harry, your hot…*swoons*

Harry: Thanks…

Da-cool-princess1: Ron, I'm a blonde, and I resent that…*smacks Ron*

Ron: Damn it…why do people keep hitting me…

Ginny: Maybe it was the comment you made in the first episode…

Ron: *looks at Alex* Oh…yeah…that…

Da-cool-princess1: Ginny…um…why are you so easy?

Ginny: Blame Harry…he's the one that gave me my first orgasm…even if I was only eleven…

Harry: I did what???????????

Da-cool-princess1: Draco, you should pick someone, you know, instead of going back and forth, cause it gets quite annoying…

Draco: I guess you right…

Da-cool-princess1: Alex, I'm  friends with friends of Venus! *Shakes Alex's hand* but seriously, that busting Ron out WAS a little creepy...but still, good job!

Alex: Oh, nice to meet you…

Da-cool-princess1: Neville, get a life, you loser…

Neville: I am not a loser…

Alex: Yeah…sure…

Da-cool-princess1: Obi, SING! SING!

Obi: Maybe next episode…

Da-cool-princess1: Hermione, how are you? Feelin good? So...when ya gonna hook up with Ron, cause we ALL know its GONNA happen...  
  


Hermione: I'm fine…but I don't think Ron and me will ever be together…

Da-cool-princess1: Venus, Yeahh! You made a Harry Potter talk show! Cool for you...anyways, *whispers* if you really want Draco, tie Alex to a chair and wa-la! You got him!  
  


Venus: Sorry…it's tempting…but I could never do that to my buddy…

Alex: Do what?

Venus: Oh…nothing…

Alex: Okay…

Venus: Well, this concludes this episode…please review and don't forget to take your cookies…oh and don't forget…we need ways that Hermione can get back at Alex and ways I can get back at Draco…

Alex: Please make me kiss Draco…

Venus: Shut up…now everyone say good-bye…

All: Good Bye!!!

*************************************************************************

Okay, reviewer thank yous, here we go:

**MichealJacksonClayAikenluver**: _From Venus_: Thanks!!!  I'm glad you liked it, and I'll make sure to put those Star Wars characters you suggested up!  Fred and George are already!  Thanks! _From Alex_: Thank you for reviewing. Please continue to do so. _Venus again_: She's so much more polite when she's half asleep writing this at one fifty three in the morning, huh?

**Sasami Jurai**: _From Venus_: No, they aren't ALL dead!!!!!  I've wakened them up inside, waken them up inside, called their names and saved them from the dark!  Oh my gosh…I'm doing the Evanescence obsessing again…well, thanks for reviewing, and please keep doing it! *Smiles cheesily* I like reviewers who ask a considerable amount of questions!  _From Alex_: Glad you liked it.  Please continue to review. _Venus again_: She _is_ tired…

**Rongf4ever**: _From Venus_: Very good idea, it made our friend Danny useful for something…I just hope next episode he doesn't start singing…*Gulp* His nickname in 3rd grade was "Opera-Boy" and still is!!!! Thanks for reviewing, and I'd love for you to continue doing it! _From Alex_: Finally…a way to get Danny out of my hair…I mean we asked him if he would be the obsessed Mary-Sue…and sure he wasn't to keen on the idea at first but he went along with it any way. Anyways, thanks for reviewing. Please continue to do so. _Venus again_: She's wakened up!!!!  Oh, and NOW I remember what boy Mary-Sue's are called!  Gary-Sue's, right???  Oh well, too late now…thanks again!

**PhoenixGirl1234567**: _From Venus_: Yes, you spelled Jabba right!!!!  And, I loved your review a lot because #1: it was hilarious #2: it was good sized with a good amount of questions and #3: it was hilarious!  Thanks for reviewing and please continue! _From Alex_: Sorry, but DRACO IS MINE…no I guess we could share…maybe.  Oh well…thanks for reviewing. Please continue to do so. I still think Draco is mine. _Venus again_: I guess she's a little more tired and cranky than I thought…pay her no mind…with a lot of caffeine and me bugging the hell out of her, she's a little grumpy…pay her no mind and thanks again for reviewing!

**Da-cool-princess1**: _From Venus_: It is so great to here from you again!  You have to email me sometime, and thanks for reviewing!!!!  Are you still writing?  Email me at my other email address and let me know!  Thanks again! _From Alex_: I'm definitely glad to know that Ron's comment about blondes didn't just piss me off…and I really appreciated the many suggestions for the show. Thanks for reviewing. Please continue to do so.  _Venus again_: How many times has she typed "Please continue to do so now"? Plenty…she's too tired to think of anything ORIGINAL!!!!  Thanks again… 

**Thanks all of you guys!!!!  Please keep reviewing! We love you!!!!  *Cookies for all reviewers***

_Alex again_: Venus, just shut the hell up…I want to go to SLEEP!!!!!!!!!

_Venus_: Fine!  Bye guys!


	3. Puppy Chow and Karaoke Party

Title: Yes, I'm keeping them hostage!

Author: Venus725

Summary: I wonder what would happen if an obsessed fanfic author by the name of Venus725 locked some Harry Potter and Star Wars characters in her basement? Let's see!

Genre: Humor

Rating: PG-13 (for now…hehehe)

Disclaimer: No, I own nothing.

Note: We have finally updated! Now this chapter is kind of confusing. Well, anyway, please R/R.

Chapter 3-

Puppy chow and Karaoke!

Venus: Welcome to…

Alex: Yes, were keeping them hostage!

Venus: …for the third time!!!!! All reviewers will certainly enjoy this chapter…*winks* it's gonna be fun!

Alex: Yes…it _is_ going to be fun, because…puppy chow and karaoke!!!!!

Venus: Hence the title…because were having…

Alex: A puppy chow and karaoke party!!!!!!

All except for them: O-Kay…

Harry: *Eyes locked door*

Venus: Well, you're all probably wondering where those ideas came from…so, I'll tell you! Alex and I were part of a bake sale last weekend…Alex and I made puppy chow! And while we were selling everything, we decided it'd be fun to have puppy show in the next chapter. 

Alex: *Puts on scary/dumb Dracula voice* SHE IS RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!

Venus: Hey, you stole that from me!

Alex: *Smiles* No, _you _stole it from your cool older cousin, Serina, who is also on fanfiction! Go read her stories, they are COOL!!!!! SPECIALLY IF YA LIKE TOM RIDDLE!!!!!!!!!

Venus: *Puts on same scary/dumb Dracula voice* SHE IS RIGHT!!!!!!!! 

All: *Wide eyes*

Venus: Oh yeah…*cough* Sorry 'bout that…*cough* anyway, then, I thought that we should have a karaoke party because lots of you want Obi-Wan to sing, and this is his last time (for now) on the show…next is Anakin and Padme, by the way…PADME IS A MOO-ING COW!!!!!!!!!!

All except for her: Uh…sure…

Alex: Yeah so…let's get started! *Throws small plastic bags of puppy chow to everyone*

Venus: *Catches* Mmm…yummy…

Draco: *look of disgust* so…this shit is fucking dog food?

Alex: *rolls eyes* *Sees that its Draco and smiles* No honey…it just _looks_ like its dog food…its _really_ chocolate and peanut butter-covered Chex cereal with powdered sugar!

All clueless wizards: Okay…

Draco: *Tastes* Hey…this is pretty good! *Eats more*

Hermione: I've always loved puppy chow…

Alex: Thanks, I made it myself!

Venus: I helped!

Alex: *Rolls eyes* whatever…*mutters * you mean stood there listening to Evanescence on your head phones while drooling over pictures of Ewan McGregor… 

Venus: *Splutters* Well…still! Let's just start with karaoke and questions!

Alex: All-righty then! 

Venus: Okay…let's start with one of our reviewers…

Alex: Freakanature, come on down!!!!

Venus: *Whispers to Harry* Have you seen The Price is Right?  


Harry: *Nods*

Venus: *Whispers lower* She's obsessed!

Alex: NO I'M NOT! YOU ARE!

Venus: YEAH RIGHT, I DON'T LIKE THAT OLD DUDE! YOU LOVE THAT UGLY OLD GUY WITH THE WEIRD/SCARY SMALL MICROPHONE!

Freakanature: BE QUIET! 

Venus and Alex: *stop*

Freakanature: Onto my questions then…First off, I don't really think that Draco is that hot, but everyone has their own opinion.

Alex: *Face turns purple as she prepares to explode*

Venus: *Throws bucket of water on her head* NO MORE EXPLODING!

Alex: Fine then! *Explodes anyway*

Venus: Bitch…

Alex: *Returns to normal* *Whines* I couldn't help it!

Venus: Whatever…Carry on Freakanature…

Freakanature: Ron: Can I have a hug? *Looks at him pleadingly*

Ron: *perks up* Are you blonde?

Alex: *smacks the top of his head*

Ron: *Rubs head* Fine…*Hugs Freakanature*

Freakanature: *Sigh* Fred, can I marry you?

Fred: *Blushes* Well…I…*Ears go red*

Ron: I thought you liked me!

Venus: No, she just wanted a hug, you idiot!

Ron: Oh.

Alex: Stupid…

Freakanature: Think about it, Fred, okay? *Blushes* George, can my best friend marry you?

George: *Blushes* Is…is…is she as pretty as you? *Ears go red*

Fred: Hey…you're trying to move in on my woman!

George: So what, I'm the cuter twin!

Fred: NO YOU'RE NOT!

George: YEAH HUH! IF WE WERE THE SISTER, SISTER GIRLS, I'D BE THE HOT ONE TIA AND YOU'D BE THE AVERAGE ONE WITH THE MOLE TAMARA!!!!!!!!!!

Alex: Would you two just shut the hell up so Freakanature can continue?

Venus: Yeah, Mary-Kate and Ashley. *Sniggers*

Twins: Were not blondes!

Alex: hey!!!! BLONDE HUMOR IS NOT FUNNY!!!!! *Smacks Fred and George*

George: *softy* But I said blondes weren't easy for you…*Small tear*

Venus: Puh-lease!!!!! Just…*splutters* continue the questions!

Freakanature: I think everyone should stop insulting poor Neville. I'm starting to feel bad for him. *Gives Neville a hug* 

Neville: *Sobs* FINALLY!!!!!! *Hugs back*

Venus: Ewww…Neville is…Neville…ewww…

Alex: Yeah…

Draco: Let's just continue with the BLOODY QUESTIONS!

Venus and Alex: Ummm…kay!

Freakanature: Well that's all I've got! Oh, and I have no suggestions for Star Wars characters, but I do think that maybe there should be some LOTR characters or something!

Venus: Hmmm…good idea…I'll do Frodo along with Anakin and Padme next episode! Oh, and if your interested in a good talkshow with Star Wars, Harry Potter, LOTR, Matrix, and Moulin Rouge characters, in my profile is Let's Chat Again, the sequel to the sadly demolished Let's Chat! 

Freakanature: Cool! *Loud pop and she is gone* 

Alex: Welcome…Retarded Chipmunk! *Loud pop and Retarded Chipmunk appears*

Retarded Chipmunk: Hi!! :) I want a cookie!! 

Venus: *Hands cookie* I _did _make those!

Alex: Sure…_she _gets one…

Retarded Chipmunk: Lol, JP i also liked the line of the Yoda, Gandalf, Dumbledore and Morpheus thing LMAO... I also think that Tom Felton is hot. But no one can be hotter than Rupert Grint! *Drools* umm…yeah... I'm back...

Ron: Who the fuck is Rupert Grint?

Alex: You dumbass…but I guess an Einstein like yourself wouldn't know that would you?

Danny: But…*splutters* I THOUGT I WAS THE EINSTEIN!!!!

Venus: *Pats him on the back sympathetically* you are son, you are…

Ron: *Shrugs* I guess I wouldn't.

Retarded Chipmunk: Well, I have just one question…why does Alex always blow up?

Alex: Because I fucking CAN!

Venus: I dunno…because God wants to be mean to me and give me a best friend that can, at will, explode?

Retarded Chipmunk: Okay then! Bye and thanks! *Loud pop and she's gone*

Venus: Let's start the karaoke!!!! WHOO!!!!! *Pulls on cool DJ outfit and conjures up a huge sound system and everything a DJ doing karaoke would need* *Smiles* LET'S PART-TAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

Alex: Who's singin' first? 

Venus: Hmmm…I get to pick! Umm…I pick…Ron, and then the twins, and then we'll get back to the questions!

Alex: Okay then!

Ron: *Coughs* *Stands* 

Venus: *Tosses microphone*

Ron: *Catches* I'd like…The Barney Song, please…

All: *eye him suspiciously*

Draco: *Whispers to Venus and Alex* I _knew_ there was something creepy about him…

Alex: *nods lovingly*

Venus: You got it…*Turns on music*

Ron: *Singing off tune* I love you, you love me, were a happy family! With a GREEEAAAAT big hug *Tries to hug Alex but gets socked in the nose* and a KIIIIISSSS from me to YOOOUUUUU, *Tries to _kiss_ Alex but gets socked in the nose _again_* won't you say you LOOOOVVVEEE MEEEEEEEE TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alex: *in tune of last line* you're a big redheaded bastard!!!

Ron: *Bursts into show tune-like song* BUT I LOOOOOOOVVVVVEEEEEEEEE YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUU!!!!!!!

Alex: And I HATE YOOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!!!!!

Venus: SHUT THE FUCK UP, THIS IS NOT WESTSIDE STORY!!!!!!

Harry: That makes no sense…

Venus: OH FUCKING WELL!!!!!!

Harry: Okay then…

Venus: *Deep breath* *Calm voice* Fred and George…go do yo thang!!!! *Turns back into cool DJ*

Twins: *Get microphones*

Fred: Let's sing…Welcome to Duloc!!!!

George: Okay!!!!!!

Both: Doo doo do doo do do…Welcome to Duloc, such a perfect town. Here we have some rules, let us lay them down! Don't make waves. Stay in line and we'll get along fine. Duloc is a perfect place. Please keep off of the grass. Shine your shoes. Wipe your…face. Duloc is, Duloc is, Duloc is a perfect place!

All: Okay…

Alex: At least it was better than Ron's song…*cough* baby *cough*

Venus: Well…Okay…now we can get back to the reviewers…

Alex: Okay, our next reviewer is Lisa…*loud pop and girl appears*

Lisa: Hi…I think this story is so funny…

Venus and Alex: Thanks…

Lisa: Oh and Venus, to get back at Draco I think you should make him kiss Alex…

Draco: NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alex: Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!

Venus: I'll have to think about that one…

Lisa: Okay…Bye…*with a loud pop Lisa is gone*

Alex: please Venus…PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE????

Venus: Hhhhhhmmmmmm…Maybe…

Alex: PLEASE??????????

Venus: Keep asking me and it'll be no, so let's just leave it at we'll see, all right?

Alex: Okay.

Draco: *Sigh* At least I have some time…

Venus: And our next reviewer is…*drum roll*

Alex: …AMK!!!!!!! *AMK appears*

AMK: Hi! I'm getting a lot more sleep now that i sold my muses. :) I got forty dollars for them and that's a damn good deal. 

Venus: That _is_ a damn good deal… 

AMK: So, i think you should torture Neville incessantly because he's a doofus…

Alex: I could do that…

Neville: Hey!

Alex: Hay is for horses, gay wad…

Neville: For the last damn time…I'm not gay…

All: Sure…

AMK: Have Draco slap the living shit out of someone *cough*DANNY*cough* 

Danny: Hey…

Alex: For the last damn time…Hay is for damn horses…

Draco: That sounds like a good idea…*bitch slaps Danny*

AMK: And start a game of strip poker!

Ron: ooooohhhhh…that could be fun…*eyes Alex*

Alex: Yeah…it could…*eyes Draco*

Ron: Did you actually agree with me?

Alex: NO…I just think it would be fun to see Draco naked…

Venus: You know if we do play it though it'd have to be to bra and underwear only…right?

Ron: Does it have to be? *Starts to drool while looking at Alex*

Alex: *flicks Ron's ear very hard* YOU PERVERTED BASTARD…YES IT DOES…ITS ONLY RATED PG-13!!!

Venus: Okay…it's settled…strip poker will be next episode…I think we already have too much this episode…

All: Okay…

Ron: I can't wait…*continues to drool at Alex*

Alex: Puh-lease you are so pathetic…

Draco: He is quite pathetic…I must agree…

Venus: Okay…I think its time for more karaoke…

Alex: Can I pick who sings this time?

Venus: Sure…

Alex: Okay…I want Draco to sing and then I want to…

Draco: ME???

Venus: Actually, Tom Felton was a very talented singer…he was in many choirs…

Draco: But that wasn't me…

Alex: So…I want you to sing so just do it…

Venus: What song should we make him sing?

Alex: I know…why doesn't he sing "U Got It Bad" by Usher?

Venus: That would be perfect!

Draco: What?

Venus: Just trust us it will be the perfect song…

Draco: Fine…but what are the words?

Venus: It's called karaoke…you read the words from the screen…

Draco: Okay…*grabs microphone*

Alex: Yeah!!!

Draco: *on perfect pitch* Oh…no, no, no, no, no, no…when you feel it in your body you found somebody who makes you change your ways like hangin wit your crew…

Alex and Venus: *drooling excessively*

Draco: *still on perfect pitch* Said you act like you ready but you don't really know and everything in your past you wanna let it go! I been there, done it, humped around. After all that this is what I found. Nobody wants to be alone! If your touched by the words in this song, then maybe…

Chorus: You got it, you got it bad when your on the phone, hang up and you call right back! You got it, you got it bad, if you miss a day without your friend your whole life's off track! You know you got it bad when you stuck in the house you don't wanna have fun cause all you think about…you got it bad when your out with someone, but you keep on thinking bout somebody else!

Draco: When you say that you love 'em and you really know everything use to matter don't matter no more. Like my money, all my cars, you can have it all! And flowers, cards, and candy I do it just cause I'm, said I'm fortunate to have you girl, want you to know I really adore you. All my people that know what's going on, look at your mate help me sing my song! Tell her I'm your man, you're my girl, I'm gonna tell it to the whole wide world! Ladies say I'm your girl, you're my man, promise to love you the best I can! See I've been there, done it, humped around. After all that this is what I found. Every one of y'all are just like me, it's too bad that you can't see, that you got it bad!

Chorus: You got it, you got it bad when your on the phone, hang up and you call right back! You got it, you got it bad, if you miss a day without your friend your whole life's off track! You know you got it bad when you stuck in the house you don't wanna have fun cause all you think about…you got it bad when your out with someone, but you keep on thinking bout somebody else!

All: *applaud*

Alex: *faints*

Venus: *dreamy sigh*

Ron: Where's Alex? *Looks around for her*

Draco: *bowing* *looks at Ron* who cares this gets her off my case, doesn't it?

Venus: Wait…where did Alex disappear to?

Hermione: I found her…

Harry: Where did she go?

Ginny: I think she fainted…

Venus: OH SHIT…uuummm…

Ron: We could always pour water on her…

Harry: Why?

Ron: So her white shirt would get all wet…*smirks*

Venus: YOU PERVERTED FREAK!!! I'M NOT GONNA DO THAT TO MY BEST FRIEND!!!

Danny: I know…why don't you try kicking or smacking her?

All: *stare*

Danny: I have never once made Alex faint or knocked her unconscious…

Ron: Sure…*eyes Danny suspiciously*

Hermione: I know…why don't we let the reviewers come up with ways to make Alex conscious again?

Ron: But that would take too long…

Ginny: Venus could always make someone kiss her to wake her up…

Venus: No…that would be too mean…

Harry: I agree with Hermione…we should let the reviewers decide…

Venus: I guess…but someone is going to have to watch her…to make sure she doesn't wake up…

Ron: I WILL!

Venus: I don't think that would be a wise choice…it should be someone she trusts…

Danny: Your gonna make me do it huh?

Venus: Well…since you volunteered…

Danny: Fine…I'll do it…

Ginny: Well, I'll sit with you so you won't get lonely…

Danny: Uuummm…Okay…

Venus: Okay…now that it's settled…we can go back to the reviewers…

Harry: We still have more?

Venus: Yes…our next reviewer is…aneerpotterexperience…*loud pop and girl appears*

aneerpotterexperience: So im gonna ask some questions…

Venus: Go ahead…

  
aneerpotterexperience: Ron. I AM blonde and you CAN have me *runs over and starts hitting on him*(like the good way)

  
Ron: Sorry, but I'm devoted to Alex…but maybe I'll get back to you…

Venus: *mutters* shallow ass mother fucker…

Aneerpotterexperience: Draco is totally dead sexy…sorry Ron, i still love you…

Draco: Thank you…

  
aneerpotterexperience: Venus, why did Hermione have to make out with Danny?

Venus: Just for laughs I guess…

aneerpotterexperience: Oh and poor Harry, I feel so bad for you and i don't feel bad for little gay Neville *blows raspberry at him*  
bye bye *loud pop and she is gone*

Venus: Okay…our next reviewer is…snufflesluver! *Loud pop and she appears*

snufflesluver: ROTFALMFAO! Alex should kiss Draco. Luv Austin Powers ya Baby! Ya! 

Draco: UUUMMM…NO…

  
snufflesluver: obi, sing!  


Obi: Maybe during the next karaoke part of the show…

snufflesluver: Gred and Forge: Luv u guys *Runs and hugs and kisses both* *whispers "Call me"* *wink, wink*  


Twins: er…okay…

Snufflesluver: Draco, your a hot-at!   


Draco: OOOKAY…

snufflesluver: Neville, why are you here?  


Neville: I don't really know…

snufflesluver: Venus and Alex, luv what you are doin, keep it goin. Get some professors in here. SW is cool! Go the younger lookin Ford! 

Venus: Well…since Alex is temporarily…er…out now…I'll tell her about the Professors idea…*loud pop and snufflesluver is gone*

Draco: Is there any more puppy chow?

Venus: Yeah…*tosses him another bag*

Harry: Are we done with the reviews, yet????

Venus: NO…and our next reviewer is…a returning guest…MichealJacksonClayAikenluver!

MichealJacksonClayAikenluver: HAHAHA! Me again! ;) 

Venus: Okay…on with the questions…

MichealJacksonClayAikenluver: OK, I want to kiss Malfoy…

Draco: Maybe…

Venus: No, we must be nice to the reviewers. Kiss her on the cheek!

Draco: *Sigh* Fine…*Kisses her on the cheek*

MichealJacksonClayAikenluver: And you need someone to obsess over Harry, cuz except for the occasional thing from Ginny (ewww) there's nobody to love him. May I suggest me? *g* (if you do put me, put my personality as obsessive *g*) 

Harry: Yeah…nobody really seems to like me do they?

MichealJacksonClayAikenluver: And I want another cookie! :)

Venus: *hands her cookie* Well thank you…*loud pop and she is gone*

Ron: Is anyone else bored? *Stares at Alex wishing he were watching her not Danny*

Venus: Shut up so we can get to the next karaoke break…next I want Obi and me to do a duet…

Obi: Okay…what are we singing?

Venus: *blushes* "Come What May"…

All except Obi and Venus: Puh-lease…

Obi: Okay…someone start the music…

Harry: *turns on music*

Obi-Wan: *On key* Never knew…I could feel like this…Like I've never seen the sky before. Want to vanish inside your kiss! Everyday I love you more and more! Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing! Tellin' me to give you everything! Seasons may change, winter to spring!!!!! (Pause) But I love you…till the end…of…time. COME WHAT MAAAAYYYYY!!!!! COME WHAT MAAAAAAYYYY!!!!! I WILL LOVE YOU, UNTIL MY DYYY-IIINNNGG DAY!!!!!!

Venus: God I wish he really meant it…*Remembers she's supposed to be singing* Oops…*Singing* Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place. Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace. 

Both: Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste!

Venus: It all revolves around you.

Both: AND THERE'S NO MOUNTAIN, TOO HIGH, NO RIVER TOO WIDE!!!!! SING OUT THIS SONG AND I'LL BE THERE, BY YOUR SIDE!!!!! STORM CLOUDS MAY GATHER, AND STORMS MAY COLLIDE!!!!!!!!!!!

Obi-Wan: But I love you.

Venus: I love you.

Obi-Wan: Till the end-

Venus: Until the end of-

Both: Time. COME WHAT MAY!!!!!! COME WHAT MAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!! I WILL LOOOOVVVEEE YOU, UNTIL MY DYYYYY-IIINNNNGGG DAY!!!!!! OH, COME WHAT MAY!!!!!!!!!! COME WHAT MAY!!!!!!! I WILL LOVE YOU!!!!!!!! 

Venus: I will love you. Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place.

Chorus: COME WHAT MAY!!!!!

Both: COME WHAT MAY!!!!!! COME WHAT MAAAAAAY!!!!!!

I WILL LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!! UNTIL MY DYYYY-IIINNNGG DAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!

All: *Applaud as Obi-Wan and Venus take bows*

Venus: (To Obi-Wan) Wow…I wish that you had meant it…

Obi-Wan: *Kisses her hand* Sorry, it's against the code, but maybe someday…

Venus: *Giggles*

Draco: *Taps host on the shoulder*

Venus: Yes? *Turns to Draco*

Draco: Could we get back to the reviewers?

Venus: Oh, sorry about that…*Smiles* Of course!!! Our next reviewer is…Draco's Baby Girl!

Draco's Baby Girl: Hello…For Hermione: I think you should make Alex have to kiss Harry, cuz she doesn't act like she likes him much.

Hermione: Maybe…That would be kinda funny…  


Draco's Baby Girl: For Venus: I think just to get back at Draco you should make him kiss Alex, cuz I'm guessing he would totally hate it.  


Draco: For the last time…NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, AND NO…  


Venus: You know…if you keep up that attitude…I just might make you…

Draco's Baby Girl: Well, please keep writing! *With a small pop she disappears*

Venus: Okay…well…*turns to Danny*…how is she?

Danny: Still out cold…but I still think if we just kicked her-

Ron: No…she is too pretty to kick…

Danny: Get over it…

Ron: MAKE ME!!!

Danny: Well, you know it wouldn't be the first time I've ever kicked her…

Venus: I know it wouldn't but we are not kicking her…so just shut up…

Ron: YEAH!!!!!! *Danny and Ron start fighting* *Ginny steps in the middle of it*

Ginny: Stop acting like a baby Ron…sorry about my psychotic brother Danny…

Danny: That's okay…no real damage done…*looks at bruise on arm*

Venus: Anyways…can we get back to the reviewers? Or would you two like to continue bickering?

Danny and Ron: Sorry…*glare at one another*

Venus: Anyways…our next guest is…da-cool-princess1…

da-cool-princess1: Yeah, so anyways, questions: 1. Harry: will you marry me? *Holds up engagement rings* 2. Do you like lightning? *Points to scar* 3. Can i have...a parseltongue lesson...in one of Snape's dungeons...all alone with you...for an hour, locked in? *Smiles innocently*  
  
Harry: UUUMMM…sure…

da-cool-princess1: 1. Ron: BLONDES AREN'T EASY! *Flicks his nose* 

2. And i used to think you were cute...  
  
Ron: Are we still going on about that? *Thinks about what he said in the first chapter*

da-cool-princess1: 1. Hermione: to get back at Alex, make HER make out with Danny! And then pie herself with...pies! 2. Was it really...good, making out with Danny? Or just...not horrible?  
  
Hermione: I'm not sure…

da-cool-princess1: 1. Draco: you should have to...strip tease!  
2. And... Kiss whoever you want! Lame, I know, but still...it'd let us know something, right?

Draco: uuummm…no thank you…I would rather keep my secrets to myself and not strip tease…  


da-cool-princess1: 1.Fred and George: Gred and Forge.  
2. Hehehe...can i have an extendable ear, please?  
  
George: Sure…*pulls extendable ear out of pocket*

da-cool-princes1: 1.Obi-Wan: no excuses! SING NOW! *Smiles innocently again* 2. Who's the next Star Wars character? Please be Anakin, please be Anakin! I want to torture him...  
  
Obi-Wan: *Rolls eyes* La la la di da, your song, come what may, la la la di da, ya happy? And Venus said that Anakin, Padme, and some guy named Frodo was coming next time.

da-cool-princess1: okay! *Cheesy grin*

Venus: Okay…back to the questions…

da-cool-princess1: 1.Alex-

Danny: uuummm…if your trying to talk to her you may just want to know that she is unconscious still…

da-cool-princess1: Oh…

Venus: Well, why don't you just say it and I'll tell her what you said…

da-cool-princess1: Um...yeah...exploding looks like fun! Can I try? *Tries to explode* ANAKIN AND PALPATINE AND VOLDY MOLDY MUST DIE! *All stare* Well, it was kind of exploding...in a different way...  


Venus: Okay…I'll be sure to tell her you said that…

da-cool-princess1: 1.Venus: If you want to not torture Draco because he's cute, and get him, then make him kiss YOU! *Looks at Alex* just a suggestion...  


Venus: uuummm…you know she is still unconscious right?

  
da-cool-princess1: Oh yeah. Well, great story, can't wait for more!

Venus: Bye! *Girl disappears with a loud pop*

Ginny: So…are the reviews over yet?

Venus: Well…actually we still have one from one of Alex's friend's that we need to answer…it was sent to us by e-mail…

Harry: Is she the last one?

Ginny: I hope so…

Venus: And our next reviewer is…Nive…*loud pop and girl appears*

Nive: Hi…uuummm…where's Alex?

Danny: *points to floor* over here…

Nive: oh…what did she do…faint?

Venus: Yeah…but can we get on with your comments?

Nive: okay…lol…thaz so funny!!!…HILARIOUZZZ!!!!!

Venus: Thanks…

Nive: u should add more 2 it though...like Alex should like make out wit Draco n he fallz in luv wit her...then u guyz sex...lol...

Draco: FOR THE LAST TIME…NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Venus: Thanks for the suggestion…but I doubt it would happen…

Nive: Okay…well bya!!!

Venus: *looks at floor* I think Alex is still unconscious…

Danny: Yup…

Hermione: So, what are you gonna do with her til next episode?

Venus: Well, I could leave her in the basement and one of you guys could watch her…*looks over at Ron* as long as Ron doesn't go near her…

Hermione: Well…Ginny and me could watch her…

Ginny: Yeah…okay…

Venus: Well thanks…oh and don't forget to review with ways to wake up Alex…and please…nothing too mean…oh and we still need ways for me to get back at Draco…and ways for Hermione to get back at Alex…

Draco: Do we have to wake her up?

Venus: YES!!!!! Now say bye everyone…

All except Alex: Bye!!!


	4. Strip Poker and a Special Guest Part 1

Title: Yes, I'm keeping them hostage!

Author: Venus725

Summary: I wonder what would happen if an obsessed fanfic author by the name of Venus725 locked some Harry Potter and Star Wars characters in her basement? Let's see!

Genre: Humor

Rating: PG-13 (for now…hehehe)

Disclaimer: Though I wouldn't put it past Alex or me on trying to make HP ours, alas, it is not. God Bless J.K. Rowling!

Note: Yes, IT'S BEEN A LOOOOOONG TIME. WE ARE SORRY. NOW READ AND REVIEW!

**Chapter 4-** **Strip Poker and a Special Guest**

Venus: Welcome to…

All except for Harry: Yes, Were Keeping Them Hostage!

Harry: Sarcastically and unenthusiastically Whoo hoo…

Venus: Shut up, Scarhead…Rolls eyes Hey all! Today we will be playing strip poker, and we will also have a special guest…guesting as a temporary co-host, please welcome…MauraSlytherinBitch!

(MauraSlytherinBitch appears with a pop. She has reddish-brown hair, tan skin, and is about 5 '8".)

MauraSlytherinBitch: Hey all!

Harry: Unenthusiastically Hey…

Everyone else: Applaud

Venus (To Harry): What's with you?

Harry: Well…let's think…um, well, my Godfather just died, a major murderer is out to get me, I'm stuck in this horrible talkshow with a host that picks on me for no reason, even though she's nice at times TO EVERYBODY BESIDES ME, and my life is wonderful as it is with nearly everyone in the wizarding world thinking I'm a delusional, attention-seeking prat. Does that explain it?

Venus: Yeah…Ooo…Um…sorry…Okay, I'll make you a deal Harry…I won't be mean to you anymore. But that doesn't mean Alex won't…

Harry: Happier All right.

Venus: Yeah, 'cause I can't do anything about all the other stuff…

Harry: I know.

Venus: Yeah, so anyways, welcome to the fourth chapter. First off we're going to wake up Alex so she can help MauraSlytherinBitch and me. What are we doing again?

Ron: Excitedly DRENCHING HER IN WATER!

Venus: Uh…not. Um…

Danny: We could kick her in the head!

All: Stare

Venus: Danny…#1, NO, #2, get help, #3, GET HELP!

MauraSlytherinBitch: I'm not feeling very safe here.

Venus: Um…you _read_ the story right? You're not supposed to.

MauraSlytherinBitch: I know, just thought that would be funny.

Venus: 'Twas. Also, before we wake her up again, I would like to introduce Anakin Skywalker (VAINER THAN DRACO!), Padme Amidala (COW!), and the hobbit from the shire with REALLY, REALLY blue pretty eyes, Frodo Baggins!

Anakin: How come you didn't mention how HOT I am, Venus?

Venus: Because all of your fangirls DON'T need to be reminded again.

Fangirls reading this: Swoon

Venus: Give me a break…

Hermione: GIVE ME A BREAK, GIVE ME A BREAK, BREAK ME OFF A PIECE OF THAT KIT-KAT BAR! Pouts Its just not the same without Alex…

Venus: She'll be back in a minute, calm down…Mutters I don't know why they like _her _so much, I created this darn thing, she's only in it cause she forced me by grabbing my bra strap…

Draco: Do we absolutely HAVE to wake her up?

Ron: YES!

Venus: Hmmm…the possibilities…

To go inside Venus's odd and disturbing mind (I've warned you)… 

_Hmmm…to wake her up or not to wake her up?_

_Old guy: YOU WITH THAT CATFISH! IT'S MINE!!!! MWAHAHAAAAA!_

_Catfish? What the HELL is George talking about?_

_Cow: Singing I AM PADME, I AM PADME, YES I AM, YES I AM! ANAKIN IS SUCKY LOVER, AND A BIG FAT LOSER, YES HE IS, YES HE IS!_

_Does he have a small…erm…lightsaber…erm…too? Wait, why am I asking this? Damn Draco is fine…YUMMY…_

_Alex: DRACO IS MINE BITCH!_

_Get over it…you KNOW he loves me…_

_Cow: Yes, he has VERY small…um…equipment. I kinda used to wish to see Obi-Wan's when Anakin was younger._

_No, Obi-Wan isn't that easy…Obi-Wan is COOL! And YUMMY…I want to see Orlando Bloom too…and Ryan Gosling…right NOW would be good…_

Alex: TOO FUCKING BAD, THEY'RE MINE TOO, BITCH! AND YES, YOU **ARE** WAKING ME UP, SO NO MORE THINKING! AND YOU, OLD GUY, OR GEORGE, THAT'S **MY** CATFISH!

Well that settles it…and I think Alex has officially cracked…or is it my dream Alex or the bitchy Alex in my head? Oh well…

**Let's uh…leave this scary place, called my mind, now…**

Venus: Yes, Draco, we are going to have to wake her up.

Draco: Damn it! Fuck those stupid Mudbloods!

Hermione: HEY YOU MOTHER FUCKER!

Harry: Hermione?

Ron: Um…wow…and you yelled at me for calling Snape a git…Hahaha, I've got blackmail now…

Hermione: Shut up Ron…

Draco: I curse Mudbloods when I'm angry. Get over it.

Venus: Yeah, okay, so we're going to wake up Alex now. How?

Ron: Drench her in cold, cold, cold, COLD water!

Danny: We could always just kick her…or throw something at her…

Venus: For the last FUCKING time, HELL NO! Younglings, younglings…Haha, I sound like Yoda…Applauds self Anyways…

Ginny: How 'bout we make Draco kiss her?

Draco: HELL FUCKING NO!

Venus: Well since that little remark slipped out…Grins evilly ITS GONNA HAPPEN!!!!!!!

Draco: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-Pauses to take a deep breath-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Venus: Geez…didn't know you cared about it that much…in that case-

Draco: PLEASE VENUS, I WILL DO ANYTHING!

Venus: Before I was so RUDELY interrupted…I was going to say…well…I'LL ENJOY YOUR PAIN EVEN MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Draco: NOOOOOOOO!

Ron: NOOOOOOOOOOOO FAIR!!!!! THE RICH GOODLOOKING PRAT GETS FUCKING EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!

Draco: You wanna kiss her…you go right on ahead…I'll stand here and watch…while looking as handsome as ever, of course.

Venus: Yup. That's the way the cookie crumbles. (A/N Venus: LOL, I LOVE THAT MOVIE!) And even if you ARE pretty, Draco, you're still kissing her. And get over it, I mean, its not like her lips are moldy or anything…

Draco: Skeptical look Can we verify that first?

Danny: Well…you can trust me…I've kissed her before and her lips are definitely NOT moldy.

Venus: Eww…did NOT need to know that…eww…bad picture in MY HEAD!

Ron: That's not fair…every guy except me gets to kiss her!

Anakin: That's not true. I haven't.

Frodo: I haven't either.

Twins: Neither have we.

Harry: And what am I? A girl? NOT. I haven't kissed her either Ron, get a grip on yourself…

Ron: In huffy tone of voice Fine.

Venus: And you got a kiss on the cheek from her…anyways, kiss her Draco! But first…Smiles slyly Puts on same cool DJ outfit and conjures up a huge sound system and everything a DJ doing karaoke would need AGAIN

All: Stare

Venus: Trust me, its gonna be good. Turns on music and grabs microphone Singing You know you wanna…kiss the girl…Don't be shy…wow woo! You know you wanna…kiss the girl…

(A/N Venus: So I don't exactly know the words…don't pick on me)

Draco: On perfect tune I know I wanna…kill the girl…

Venus: JUST FUCKING KISS HER OR I'LL MAKE YOU MAKE OUT WITH HER!

Draco: I thought you LIKED me…Pouts

Venus: Can feel herself beginning to go soft Think mode again I…must…resist…his…sexual…powers…lord knows…think…of…suffering…torture…evil…EVIL…EVIL! Turns back into normal, evil Venus I do…but torturing others is fun too.

Draco: Knows he's gonna have to Okay, okay…fine. Conjures a glass of salt water and a small bottle of breath freshener

Venus: I thought you DIDN'T want to kiss her…

Draco: No matter WHO the girl is, I can't let her be disappointed…Smirks (Gargles salt water and spits it back into cup and then sprays some breath freshener in his mouth) K…I'm ready…

Venus: Mutters Fucking finally god damn it…

Draco: Leans down by Alex's face and softly presses his lips on hers quickly

Alex: Waking up What happened? It was so weird…the last thing I remember was Draco singing…then I was in Venus's head…then I had the weirdest dream…it was so odd because Draco ACTUALLY kissed me…

All: Smile weirdly

Alex: What?

Venus: Nothing…

Ron: IT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR!

Venus: It kinda isn't for you…and for me. Tsk, Alex always gets the bad boys. I should have just made Draco tell people his innermost, darkest secrets…like the one about his Father forcing him to be a Death Eater, and how his father is a rich, cold-hearted, loveless bastard, and how he sleeps with nearly every girl in Hogwarts…Stops to think Oh, wait, those aren't secrets.

Draco: I DO NOT SLEEP WITH EVERY GIRL IN HOGWARTS!

All: Stare

Draco: Honestly, it is JUST a reputation. I've only ever slept with Pansy, and a few other Slytherins.

Venus: Oh, and that is just SO much better. Winks playfully

Draco: Hey, I can't help it that I'm sexy. Is relieved Venus understands his teenage turmoil and smiles (A/N Venus: Don't you love how I make Draco all angsty and hormonal? Don't worry, he's NEVER going to go good on you…he'll be evil for…EVER!)

Venus: Looks him up and down wistfully You speak the truth.

Alex: Still confused WHAT?

Venus: I'll explain later…right now we've got LOTS of reviewers…

Alex: Really? AWESOME!

Venus: And a new temporary co-host…Alex, meet MauraSlytherinBitch…and Maura, I hope it's okay that I call you Maura by the way (its shorter), this is Alex…the girl we've been discussing for over an hour…Glares at Draco, finally rid of her sympathetic streak

Draco: Grimaces, remembering Let's not talk about it…

Alex: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON AROUND HERE?

Ron: Do you really wanna know?

Alex: YES!!!!!!!

Venus: Slaps Ron before he is able to say anything Too bad. Mesa is havin' fun keeping YOU in agony for once…Hahaha…

Alex: Looks at Lindsay Don't make me grab your bra strap again…

Venus: Sticks out tongue Well, you can't, because I'm not wearing one!

Ron: Really?

Venus: OF COURSE I'M WEARING ONE DUMBASS! Geez, I'm now like the sanest one here…me and Harry, anyway…

Harry: Wow. You really are being nice.

Venus: Well, a promise is a promise…I'm really a good girl at heart, even though I'm evil and cunning in what I do. Plus, you've grown. You're pretty damn hot in your fake Adidas in 'Azkaban'.

Harry: Smiles and blushes Thanks. (A/N Venus: Hey, the poor boy ain't used to compliments!)

Alex: Pouts Fine, whatever, I know you, you can't keep a secret, you'll tell me in a matter of minutes… Looks at Maura Your name is long…and funny.

Maura: Thanks…I guess.

Alex: Hey…Anakin, Padme, and Frodo are here…hey guys.

Anakin: So you're the one who-

Venus: Nuh uh. Nope. No giving away ANYTHING Ani-poo.

Anakin: O-kay. It's nice to be out of that hot studio room with fangirls trying to kill me and Angel trying to seduce me…

Venus: Hey, no no's! 'Let's Chat Again', MY other talkshow, people, if you don't understand…I uh…kind of transported Padme and Anakin here from there on their break time…hehehe, fun, right?

Alex: Sure. Padme, Venus says you're a mooing cow. Is it true?

Padme: No.

Alex: I don't believe you.

Venus: Good. Review time.

Alex: First up is…Animegirl123!!!!

(Animegirl123 pops in)

Animegirl123: I just want to say that I love Harry!

Alex: Well good for you!

Harry: YAY…SOMEONE LOVES ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Venus: You know, you seriously underestimate your fangirl power, Mr. Potter. I love you too, in fact, I'm pretty sure a whole bunch of Potterheads like myself do, considering the fact that every book is called "Harry Potter and the…". You are the 'hero-in-training', or in other words, the main character.

Harry: You love me? Cool! Yeah, that's a pretty valid point.

Animegirl123: To Harry: Will you marry me? Puppy dog look

Harry: Turns back to reviewer Um…I'm only fifteen, yeah so…I'm British! I don't live in Kentucky!

Venus: Hey, that's not nice…but funny. Giggles

Animegirl123: To everyone except Harry: If anyone of you hurt Harry I will personally dispose of you. Cracks knuckles violently

All: All righty then…

Animegirl123: To Venus: I want my cookie I need my cookie to get sugar high!

Venus: I don't think you need any more sugar…but here ya go! Hands cookie, smiling

Animegirl123: To Draco: actually I don't think you're hot at all. In fact I think you're an ugly bastard-

Alex: turns purple about to explode

Venus: Oh shit…not again…

Alex: explodes

Venus: When will people learn NOT to do that anymore? I mean, THEY MAKE ME SUFFER, DAMNIT!

Animegirl123: Who has stinking Deatheater parents and is mean to muggles and muggleborns. You do know that Venus is a muggle.

Draco: Scratches his pretty blonde head She is? Then how does she do spells and Jedi tricks and junk? I'm confused…

Hermione: You're so dim you probably always are.

Draco: Stupid Mudblood, I'm the best in our year!

Hermione: Smirks After me.

Draco: Still! Anyways, Venus, ARE you a Muggle?

Venus: Sighs, ashamed Technically I AM Muggleborn…but I think I might be a half-blood…my aunt is a little…let's say…"funky" sometimes…I'm thinking my mother is a Squib and has yet to tell me. Who knows? And, remember this, both of my "Muggle" parents were hippies…ring a bell? Plus, they are so the opposite of anti-magic like the Dursleys. Oh, and I guarantee you that, if I attended Hogwarts, I'd most likely be housed in Slytherin (despite my supposed ancestry), because I'm not normal enough to be in Hufflepuff, I'm not diligent enough to be in Ravenclaw, and though I'm brave enough to be in Gryffindor, I'm more cunning and selfish than most people, so I'd probably be like the nicest Slytherin. I consider myself good-hearted, so who knows? If not Slytherin, then Gryffindor. Anyways, I'm still strong in the force Beams as a Jedi apprentice to Master Serina Cough, Cough, let's just say I know the location of Zyon, have entered the Matrix Cough, know an incredible teacher named Morpheus, and am a fully licensed and trained…er…wizard. Erm.

Draco: Wow, okay then…Slytherin! Good! But…how? How are you a licensed wizard already? You're the same age as us, right?

Venus: Yes, Alex and me are but erm…we have…erm…special abilities Cough and erm…yeah, no more questions, it involves…er…legal issues.

All: Okay then…

Alex: I'd be in Gryffindor or Slytherin, but most likely Gryffindor because I'm near foolishly brave and loyal and good hearted and all that crap! Yet, I may very well be in Slytherin too, because after being brave if someone else were in trouble I would probably never notice and walk off.

Venus: Smiles Yes, dear, I know, and we would still be best buddies and we would have inter-house unity!

All: Stare

Venus: Um…never mind.

Animegirl123: To Alex: I don't care if you're going to explode so nahsticks out tongue

Alex: flips off Animegirl123

Venus: Please excuse her and DON'T stop reviewing…she's a bitch, I'm sorry!

Alex: HEY! mutters under breath fucker…

Animegirl123: To Venus: you should make Draco kiss Alex awake like a Rapunzel thing! I like the story it rocks-

Padme: But she-

Venus: COW, don't even think about it…and I think you mean Sleeping Beauty…Rapunzel had the long hair.

Animegirl123: And remember Harry's mine if anyone tries to take him then Casually takes out a chainsaw

All: stare at her scared

Animegirl123: I love you Harry! With loud pop she disappears

Harry: All right, another fan.

Venus: All right then, next reviewer is…Maura, if you please…

Maura: Ok…our next reviewer is…insane trio!

Insane trio: George, will you go out with me?? PLEASE!!

George: Are you triplets?

Insane trio: Well no…not exactly…

George: DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!

Insane trio: Draco, what do you have against Harry?? I mean, just because he's nicer than you are and is in a better house isn't any reason to be mean to him.

Alex: looks like she wants to explode at the ignorant comment

Draco: Better house? Puh-lease…and because he's a stupid git…

Harry: At least I'm not vain like you Ferret Boy!

Ron: GO HARRY, IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY…WE'RE GONNA PARTY LIKE IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!

Alex: Where the hell did you learn that one? And why the hell are you singing it?

Ron: Well my dad just got this muggle invention called a TV…and it's got this thing called cable…

Alex: I'm aware of what a TV and cable are so just continue…

Ron: Well one day while flipping channels I found a channel called MTV… and well, they play a lot of music…so one day I was watching this guy called Fifty Cents…

Alex: screaming It's Fifty Cent…not Cents!!!!!

Venus: You can't talk shit about Fifty Cent…Ja Rule tried it, and it didn't work out so well…DO YOU WANT TO GET SHOT??

Alex: Yeah, true…Venus and Alex do secret handshake

Ron: Ok…Fifty CENT…well I was listening to a song called "In the Club"…and he sings that…only he says, "Go Shorty"…

Alex: The song is called "In Da Club"! In my friend Jane's wise words, "GET IT SCRAIT!"

Insane trio: I'M STILL HERE!!!!!!!!!

Venus: Oh yeah…Blushes sorry, continue with your questions…

Insane trio: Ok…Ginny, will you go out with my little brother?

Ginny: UUUMMM…

Insane trio: He's got a HUGE crush on you.

Ginny: I couldn't…I like Danny too much…

Danny: Whoa there buddy…hold on…WHAT????

Insane trio: I think I'm gonna leave now…with a loud pop girl disappears

Alex: DANNY HAS A CRUSH…DANNY HAS A CRUSH…DANNY HAS A-

Danny: SHUT THE HELL UP YOU SKINNY LITTLE NO ASS FUCKING WHORE!!

Venus: Besides, the grammatically correct thing to say would be "Ginny has a crush on Danny", not "Danny has a crush", because, Danny did not admit to having feelings for Ginny, Ginny admitted to having feelings for Danny. Smiles

Alex: Didn't hear a word Venus said What did you just call me?

Harry: He called you a skinny little no ass fucking whore…

Alex: I know I heard him…I'm not deaf…

Harry: Then why did you-?

Hermione: Mutters to self Goodness, he's tactless…did the same thing with Cho last year…

Ron: WHY YOU LITTLE- punches Danny in the jaw

Ginny: screaming RON!!!!!!!

Danny: strikes back pathetically I'm ok…

Alex: laughing hysterically So Danny…who hits harder…Ron or me?

Danny: holding jaw Honestly? I don't know…they were about the same…

Ron: punches Danny in the eye Did that help you decide?

Danny: OK…it's official…he hits harder!

Alex: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Venus: AAAHHH…that was so nice of Ron…Alex I think you owe him for that…he stuck up for you!

Alex: So…I didn't make him do it…he did that on his own!

Venus: Oh, come on…he was being so nice…you have to do something for him now.

Alex: With his perverted mind, you couldn't pay me to give him a favor…

Ron: I'M SORRY…I DIDN'T MEAN IT WHEN I SAID BLONDES WERE EASY!!!!

All: OH MY GOD!!!!

Alex: Liar…you're just saying that so I do a favor for you…

Venus: You're so mean…I DECLARE THAT YOU MUST GIVE HIM A SMALL KISS ON THE LIPS OR I'LL TELL EVERYONE THAT YOU LIKED DA-

Alex: WHAT?????? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Venus: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU MUST!

Alex: YES!!!!!! I MUSN'T!

Venus: YES YOU MUSN'T! Wait…I mean…

Alex: HA…you just said I mustn't…so I won't…HAHAHAHA…got caught in your own game!

Venus: Fine, how about this! I DARE YOU TO GIVE RON A SMALL KISS ON THE LIPS!

Alex: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-small pause for breath- OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-another small pause for breath-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-yet another small pause for breath-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ron: What's a dare? Thinks Oh, right, it's that Muggle game-

Venus: Interrupts him When someone dares another person to do something they either have to do it…or get picked forever because they didn't do a dare…

Alex: YEAH…like the time Dillon dared you to suck his-

Venus: OK…NO MORE STORY TIME…LETS GET BACK TO THE REVIEWERS…

Danny: Raises eyebrows mischievously But I wanna hear about the dare…

Venus: NO…NO MORE DARES…TRUTH OR DARE IS NEXT EPISODE…NOT THIS ONE!!!!!!! AND DILLON IS A HORNY BITCH AND I DIDN'T DO THAT. THAT IS JUST SICK AND WRONG AND NASTY!

Danny: whining Come on Lindsay. No fair Alex knows about it.

Alex: laughing Ha ha…she won't tell you about the perverted dare that Dillon gave her and she DIDN'T accept…

Venus: YOU WOULDN'T EITHER, BITCH, IT WAS WRONG!

Alex: Well, that's certainly true, I'm no whore!

Danny: Are you so sure about that?

Alex: Yes you stupid bastard…punches Danny again

Danny: Ouch…shit that hurt…

Venus: Stop it you guys…Alex, I know you're not a whore…me neither! Calms down Well Alex…when are you gonna do that dare? You know you still have to kiss Ron on the lips…unless you WANT me to tell Danny about-

Alex: Fine…I'll do it…come here Ron…mutters under her breath I'm going to fucking kill you, Venus…

Ron: Alex, I know how much you don't wanna do this…so if you really don't want to you don't have to…

Venus: Yes she does…it was a dare.

Alex: Ok…here it goes…kisses Ron quickly on the lips

Danny: Amazed OH MY GOD!

Harry: Surprised OH MY GOD!

Draco: Rejoicing BLOODY HELL SHE'S FINALLY OVER ME!!!!!

Alex: Whoever said that? I'm still totally in love with you…I only did that because of what Venus was going to tell Danny.

Danny: By the way Venus…what was it you were saying?

Venus: Sorry Opera Boy…she did the dare…I'm afraid I can't spill the beans!

Danny: In anger and frustration, he passes gas very, VERY loudly

All: Laugh hysterically

Harry and Ron: Together But Danny sure can cut them-

Hermione: Fanning her nose EEEWWW…that was gross…

Danny: Saddened that Hermione does not approve

Ginny: Don't worry Danny…I still love you…

Venus: Looks at Ginny oddly You have ODD taste in boys!

Alex: Laughing I'll say…I mean, come on…she likes Danny…who in their right mind would ever like him?

Venus: Coughs

Alex: Screaming DON'T YOU FUCKIN' DARE BITCH! YOU DO AND I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL GO SECRET WINDOW ON YOU!! grabs a nearby screwdriver

Venus: Hold on Alex, dear buddy, I was not going to say anything…

Alex: Ok…throws screwdriver at Danny

Danny: What the fuck was that for?

Alex: Just felt like it I guess…

Maura: I'm really starting to get scared now…

Alex: Did you actually think that you wouldn't?

Maura: Well no…I knew what I was getting into but still…

Venus: Why don't we get back to the reviewers…we've only talked to two of them so far…

Harry: You mean all this time we have been talking and only two reviewers have been here…oh my god you guys ARE crazy…

Alex: SHUT THE HELL UP, SCARHEAD!

Harry: Fine…pick on the scrawny little white boy…

Draco: SHUT UP ALREADY!

Venus: Don't you guys dare start another fight!

Alex: Let's just get to the reviewers…

Maura: Ok…our next reviewer is, the lovely, UnCoNtRoLaBlE!

All: Applaud as UnCoNtRoLaBlE pops in

Venus: 'Lo. Questions!

UnCoNtRoLaBlE: Well, I don't have much to say except yay! Another chapter! By the way, I love the story! The only thing that sucks for me is that I've never watched Star Wars so I don't know any of the characters-

Venus: Begins to hyperventilate

Alex: Ah, there are my earplugs…Puts in her handy earplugs once again hey…I highly suggest covering up your ears or suffer from hearing loss…

All except Venus: grabs earplugs off of the coffee table

Venus: WHAT?????? WHAT????? IT ISN'T BLOODY FUCKING POSSIBLE!!!!!! HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW OF STAR WARS???? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alex: Screaming over Venus's desperate roars DONE YET?

Venus: Calms self Yes…sorry all, lost it there…Sighs Go on.

All: take out earplugs

UnCoNtRoLaBlE: Ok…anyways, my suggestion for waking up Alex, would be to…throw a rabid chipmunk on her face. He starts to foam at the mouth 'cause he has rabies. Poor Alex (she has to get attacked and stuff to wake up) can I have some puppy chow too? Please??

Venus: Sure. Tosses bag

Alex: But I'm already awake! And hey, that isn't nice!

UnCoNtRoLaBlE: Thankies!! Leaves

Venus: Ciao! Maura, if you would be so kind as to introduce our next reviewer too…

Maura: Of course, Venus! Glad to have a chance to help out! Next reviewer is Opaque2! Opaque2 pops in

Opaque2: Hey! Cool Fic! Ok first things first... walks over to Fred and George May I have a Ton Tongue Toffee and an Extendable Ear?

Fred: Yeah, sure, hold on a tick…

Venus: Giggles Austin says that… Giggles more

George: Here you are. Hands her Ton Tongue Toffee and Extendable Ear

Opaque2: Cool, thanks. Venus, have Bellatrix Lestrange in the fic.

Venus: I'm not sure…she's kinda evil…and yeah, I like, despise her, because, well, she killed my favorite character of all TIME…Sobs

Moment of Silence for Sirius Black 

**May you R.I.P. forever**

Moment ended 

Venus: Wiping away tears

Harry: Trying not to cry (A/N Venus: Give him a break, he just lost the closest thing he had to a father!)

Opaque2: And you should have Alex kiss Draco…when she wakes up... Harry... Is being constricted by albino cobra This is Snow. I speak parseltongue...and she said she has...Laughs a crush on you...so just...talk to her or something...yeah...

Anakin: But he already kissed her, didn't he?

Venus: Caught off guard as mesmerized by the snake WHAT? NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Alex: WHAT? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! DRACO LOVES ME, DRACO LOVES ME, HE KISSED ME, HE KISSED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Draco: I DO NOT LOVE YOU, and just so you know your lips are hard and dry and you need some Blistex…

Venus: But that's not nice…oh well, I don't really care that much. Plus, I don't think she heard you or cares to hear you, as she's still rejoicing like my sister does when I get grounded, which is hardly EVER…Smiles UNLIKE SOMEBODY HERE…Coughs loudly at Alex who is still singing to herself

Alex: DRACO KISSED ME, DRACO KISSED ME…

Five Minutes Later 

Alex: Still singing merrily

Venus: Moving ON…

Alex: DRACO LOVES ME, DRACO KISSED ME…

Opaque2: Right…Ron...My hair was blonde-brown before I died it dark red...And I consider what you said an insult slaps Ron across the face, leaving a nice red hand mark Serves you right...

Ron: OK, WORLD, I'M SOOOOOO SORRY, ALL RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE ALL KNOW I'M A BIT OF AN IDIOT AND KIND OF A GIT, THOUGH NOT AS MUCH AS THE BOUNCING FERRET OVER THERE, AND IT SLIPPED OUT!!!!!!!!! PLEASE, ACCEPT MY APOLOGY!!!!!

All: Wowed

Venus: He means business…

Alex: Finally stops screaming/singing to self Huh?

Venus: Even though I'm not blonde but a striking brunette Winks, I accept your apology, Ron…

Alex: Thinking about what Venus just said…even though she has no clue what is going on _Maybe I should do what Venus is doing…sounds safe enough, she's a wuss…_ End thinking mode Me too!

Ron: You do?

Alex: Yep. Sure.

Harry: You do realize you just forgave him for calling blondes easy, right?

Alex: Huh? What? OH SHIT…I TAKE IT BACK RIGHT NOW!

Venus: Oh god…do-overs are _so _second grade…nope, you said it, you meant it, and you CAN'T TAKE IT BACK! AND I'M NOT A WUSS!

Alex: Flips her off

Venus: Now that was unnecessary.

Alex: No, it was unnessecelery…

Maura: Confused What?

Venus: Just…DON'T ask…

Danny: ASKING!

Alex: Shut up before you get hit.

Danny: Scared Not again!

Maura: Okie dokie then…

Opaque2: Hermione...you're my second fave character.

Hermione: Well thanks for that…I appreciate it…

Danny: Well you're my favorite…end of story…

Alex: Shut up jack butt.

Danny: What?

Alex: Either shut up or go fuck a monkey turd…

Danny: MAKE ME YOU STUPID LITTLE ANOREXIC SKINNY NO ASS WHORE!!!

Alex: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO GET BACK INTO THAT CONVERSATION YOU STUPID BABOON'S ASS?

Venus: breaks up Alex and Danny fighting Stop being so damn immature…it's annoying. Besides, Danny, Alex may be unnaturally skinny, but you really need to look in the mirror…

Alex: Laughs Yeah, pizza face!

Danny: Hey! My acne isn't that bad, _anymore_!

Venus: Stop fighting!

Alex and Danny: still screaming loudly FINE DAMNIT!!!

Venus: Anyways…you were saying, Opaque2?

Opaque2: Bellatrix is my fave...Sirius is my third...okies! I'll hush now...shifts into Animagus form, a beige cat with odd silvery-grey eyes and leaps on Ron, clawing at his face, then nods to them all and leaves heh heh!

Ron: Well THAT was odd…

Venus: Ok…we need to get moving on…we still have a bunch of reviewers…

Harry: In a whiny tone You mean we're not done yet?

Alex: Isn't that what she just said…stupid fucker…

Venus: Sigh Yes, Harry, I know, I'm sorry, we really do have to get the reviews moving…in fact, I think I'm gonna have to split this chapter into two chapters when I upload it, but we'll see.

GO TO THE NEXT CHAPTER AKA PART 2!


	5. Strip Poker and a Special Guest Part 2

**Okay…the rest of the chapter:**

Harry: Oooooooo-kay.

Venus: Shrugs You asked.

Harry: Yeah, I guess I did.

Maura: All right, next reviewer is…CrazzieAddict06!

(CrazzieAddict06 appears)

CrazzieAddict06: Hi guys! I just wanted to say this is great! Bye!

Venus: Bye then! Oh, and Crazzie dear, your story is superb. And feel absolutely NO SHAME when advertising your stuff, we ALL do it!

Maura: Next reviewer, formerly known as Phoenix1234567, is American Mione! (American Mione joins the party)

American Mione: Howdy! Ok, Alex, we'll split him 60/40! Naturally, I'll get the 60!

Alex: No, I get the 60, damnit!

Draco: I AM NOT TO BE GIVEN!

All: Wowed

Draco: So there!

Venus: Okay, okay, we get it, Malfoy.

Draco: Malfoy??? Don't you have some sort of CRUSH on me?

Venus: Well, I used to, but I don't really know anymore, because in Film 3 you're a huge…mimicking cousins PUUUUUUUU-SSSSSSSSY!

Draco: I am not! No, you must worship me!

Venus: Rolls eyes Lost ANOTHER fangirl?

Draco: Yes!

Venus: Well, Potter's all hot now.

Harry: Sneers at Draco

Draco: Sneers right back

Venus: Smirks evilly Why, Draco? Jealous?

Draco: You only WISH I were…

Alex: No that's me…remember? I'm hopelessly head-over-heels IN LOVE with the sex god that you happen to be!

Draco: Winks Sex god is right, baby!

Alex: YAY!!!!! He winked at me _AND_ called me 'baby'!

Draco: Look of pity She's sad, really…

Venus: HEY!!!!! STUFF IT, MALFOY!

Draco: What did I say, Venus? Innocent look And didn't you used to call me Draco?

Venus: You know VERY WELL what you said, Mister Malfoy! And, well, when you DESERVE to be called Draco, I will call you that, you prat! I'm sorry, you ARE deliciously maliciously sexy (A/N Venus: Wow that was a cool line!) but what was with the whole whining baby crap in Prisoner of Azkaban? You embarrassed us Slytherins! All Hermione did was POINT her WAND at you, and then punch you! And that's not even in the book! All she does in the book is slap you! No offense to Alfonso, I love him, he did great, but it's an insult to us Pure Potterheads!

Harry: Potter…Heads?

Venus: Harry Potter fans with obsessive-compulsive disorder…

Harry: Oh…that's not for just me, right, it's for like, the whole wizarding world, right?

Venus: Dead on, Harry. Sweet smile

Alex: Since when do you like Scarhead?

Venus: Well, number 1, I promised to be nice to our dear Mr. Potter. Number 2, in Order of the Phoenix, he's really an ass, so I figure another nice person might make him feel a little better. And number 3, in Prisoner of Azkaban, he was very, very, very, very, VERY dashing in his fake Adidas jacket, if I do say so myself. And I know you agree with me, Miss Alex, since you were squealing next to me in the theatre when we only saw a glimpse of Harry's cute little ass. And besides, at least he hasn't gone all wussy like Malferret.

Harry: My ass is cute?

Venus and Alex: Nod Very.

Draco: I AM NOT A WUSS, AND ALL MUST LOVE ME! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!

Alex: Hey, you have a nice ass too, buddy!

Venus: Sigh Well, I can't really argue with that Winks but wow…I think you're the one who's sad, Malfoy…

Draco: I can't lose ALL my fangirls…

Alex: Bats eyelashes I'm still here!

Draco: I'll tell you when I'm that desperate…Mutters Which will probably be NEVER…

Venus: I'm still the only one who gets your hormonal teenage angsty crap, Malfoy, but bottom line, no more wimpy crap! Now we really have to move on…

Draco: Glares at almost former fangirl sadly

Maura: You really ARE sad. And you really do glare a lot, don't you?

Draco: Calm tone of voice I'm not sad nor pathetic, and I glare because I can. So there. Again.

Maura: Rolls eyes Whatever. Next reviewer, please!

Alex: Uh…don't ask me…

Venus: Well, then I will…Um, actually it's American Mione…again!

(American Mione reappears)

American Mione: Yeah, I felt like I forgot something before…

Maura: I like reviewers who review twice, it makes them sound Searches for the word um…

Venus: Inquisitive?

Alex: BIG WORD!

Maura: Yeah.

Venus: Rolls eyes She knows what it MEANS…

Alex: Or do I??

American Mione: Yeah, my OTHER questions now… Quoting Alex: Rolls eyes whatever…mutters you mean stood there listening to Evanescence on your head phones while drooling over pictures of Ewan McGregor… End quoting I'm not the only one who does that! Cool! Of course, I'm usually drooling over pictures of Ashton Kutcher, Benjamin McKenzie, Orlando Bloom, and, of course, Tom Felton! Extreme yummyness!

Venus: Yes, I have to agree on those men…but you know who's REALLY hot? Like…a god? Ryan Gosling. Oh yeah!

American Mione: By the way, PUPPY CHOW RULES!

Alex: I know…

American Mione: Quoting some more George: YEAH HUH! IF WE WERE THE SISTER, SISTER GIRLS, I'D BE THE HOT ONE TIA AND YOU'D BE THE AVERAGE ONE WITH THE MOLE TAMARA! End quoting I can barely type I'm laughing so hard!

Maura: Well that's always good…

American Mione: Quoting EVEN MORE Venus: I dunno…because God wants to be mean to me and give me a best friend that can, at will, explode? End quoting AGAIN I guess that means God was mean to me too...you haven't seen crazy until you've seen _my_ best friend! 

Venus: As you can tell, I know how _that_ goes…

American Mione: WHOO-HOO! George and Fred singing the song from Shrek (a hilarious movie for those of you who haven't seen it!) was so funny! Where do you guys get these ideas? They're pure genius!

Alex: Why, thank you.

Venus: Smiles graciously

American Mione: Oh! My perfect dream: Tom Felton singing Usher...swoons dramatically and is caught by Tom My life is complete...

Alex: I know…I'm glad I came up with it…

Venus: Well, actually, it wasn't dear Tom, it was Malfoy, Slytherin Prince. Though, that's also pretty damn sexy, so I'd have to agree with you. By the way, that's my dream too! Smiles

American Mione: Right on. Okay, now, to wake Alex up: Umm...can't you just leave her there so I can have Draco to myself? No, I'm a good person. Coughs Okay, the best way to wake her up would be to throw 20 gallons of ice water on her and then make her kiss a fish. Tell her it is Ron kissing her, and hopefully she'll wake up and attack him! I don't think that's TOO mean...at least not for Alex! Alex: Is angered Fuck you!

Venus: Sorry about that, she's a tad…well…bitchy…I think it might be that time of the month again…Thinking _Next time I'll have to let Alex wear my blue straight jacket…_ End thinking mode

Maura: Good idea.

Venus: What? You can see my thoughts? Looks at screen

Alex: No, you kinda said it out loud as you thought it…

Venus: Oh. Woops.

Alex: And I swear if you try to get me in that straight jacket _again _I'll kick your ass…

American Mione: Ways for Hermione to get back at Alex: She'll need your help, but you should tell her an embarrassing story about Alex, and then have Hermione tell the story to everyone, including Draco!

Alex: NEVER!

Venus: Ponders I might just do that…Evil grin Nah…she'd _kill_ me…

Alex: No, I'd just kick your ass…very hard…

Venus: Nods in agreement

American Mione: Well then, I can't wait to read more! This is so much fun! I don't care if you don't use my ideas; I'm having too much fun reading this to care! To quote the masters of comedy, Mike Myers and Dana Carvey: "Party on!" (American Mione disappears…again)

Alex: Oh, we shall…Attempts a maniacal grin

Danny: Hey, what's that supposed to mean?

Venus: And I love that quote by the way…Adds quote to Quote page on buddy profile

Maura: Hehe, yes, we _shall_ have fun…Pulls of evil glint in eyes spectacularly

Venus: You know, I like you. Smiles

Maura: Thanks. Next reviewer is…Sarah Riddle!

(Sarah Riddle appears)

Sarah Riddle: Hey I just thought I would say I love your story keep on writing nice job! Disappears

Venus: Okay then, thanks! Hope you can keep reviewing!

Alex: Ditto.

Venus: Yeah, next reviewer is good friend and faithful reviewer…

Maura: …Da-cool-princess1!

(Da-cool-princess1 appears)

Da-cool-princess1: Hey guys! My first questions are for Harry! (Moves to Harry) Tah...I love you! Hugs Harry

Harry: Smiles gratefully, fixing disheveled glasses Thanks.

Da-cool-princess1: I'm kinda pretty...what do you prefer?

Harry: Oh…well…Blushes I don't really know, I don't think I should answer that…

Da-cool-princess1: Do you mind blondes? Except, I'm not easy, remember that...Glares at Ron I also have...green eyes like yours, and okay teeth! Date me, please?

Harry: Blushes again I dunno…I…well…

Venus: Let's just let him think on it…

Harry: Whispers to Venus Thanks…

Venus: Whispers back No problem, Mr. Potter…

Da-cool-princess1: Can I at least have your number? The Dursleys number? Cept, it'd be long distance 'cause I live in America...but can I?

Harry: Sure, but don't call and ask for me personally, ask for 'the Mr. Potter who's late library book is overdue'. Got it?

Da-cool-princess1: Smiles ecstatically Of course!

Harry: Hands her paper with number on it

Alex: Sarcastically Well that was fun.

Harry and Venus: Glare at Alex

Da-cool-princess1: I LOVE YOU! But I'm not obsessive...

Harry: Grateful smile That's good.

Da-cool-princess1: All right, Ron…I hate scum like you!

Ron: Sighs Yeah, yeah, I know already…

Alex: Haha…

Ron: Sulking moodily

Maura: And I thought Harry was the only one who did that…

Venus: Me too.

Harry: I did…for a while.

Venus: Yeah. Questions now, please.

Da-cool-princess1: So, Hermione…when are you gonna hook up with Ron, seriously?

Hermione: Blushes Um…Ron doesn't like me…

Venus: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh-tah. Smirks

Ron: Comes out of sulking What? I…I…what are we talking about? Ears go red

Draco: Silently laughing

Da-cool-princess1: And do you like Draco?

Draco: Stops laughing and starts listening

Hermione: Cracks up Ferret Boy? Puh-lease!

Draco: Hey!

Hermione: Well, think about it…you and me? Come on!

Draco: Thinks about it True.

Venus: Well, it is sort of official. J.K. announced in this interview thing that Draco and Hermione would not END UP together. It actually saddened me, I've grown quite fond of them as a couple, since it's a very funny love/hate relationship and can be also an against all odds type of thing.

Hermione: Laughs The only way that would ever happen was if his Father died, Voldemort was defeated, he went to the Light side, and he totally dropped the Mudblood thing. Oh and he would need a personality check as well. So, VERY slim chances.

Venus, Alex and Maura: Glance at each other It's happened on fanfic!

Maura: Many, many times, actually…

Venus: On fanfic, Hermione dear, ANYTHING is possible!

Draco: Coolly Well I'm afraid then that that particular sentiment doesn't fall into the category of 'anything'.

Hermione: So no, at the moment, I do not like Draco. Shudders At all.

Draco: Well, then again, my beauty doesn't reach you Mudbloods…

Hermione: Quirks eyebrow When I said you had to change a few things, did I say you had to change your looks, Malfoy?

Draco: Baffled

Everyone else besides Venus: Baffled

Alex: I can't believe you said, no, ADMITTED that!

Maura: Me neither!

Harry and Ron: Me neither!

All: Look at Venus

Venus: Shrugs I could. You guys really don't give Hermione enough credit.

Hermione: Smiles

Da-cool-princess1: Shrugs Onto Anakin…Moves to Anakin I HATE YOU! Runs after pathetic Jedi with blue lightsaber, attempting to kill him

Anakin: Squeals like a girl in fright and runs away

Maura: It's about time the Star Wars characters and Frodo got some questions...

Venus: Tell me about it.

Da-cool-princess1: Stops chasing Anakin

Anakin: Sits down apprehensively

Da-cool-princess1: Do you enjoy pie? Pies in face with flavored banana cream

Anakin: Wipes off face Yes, but not that flavor. Glares at reviewer

Da-cool-princess1: How is the dark side exactly, you pathetic fool?

Anakin: Shrugs Not bad once you get past Palpatine's Pink Parties…

All: Stare

Venus: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh-tah.

Alex: Moving on now…

Da-cool-princess1: You and Padme might wanna join me in 'Let's Chat Again!'...Venus's other talkshow...Venus, let's put them in the Machine!

Venus: Grins evilly We shall see…

Da-cool-princess1: Poor Obi-Wan…Sigh He had to deal with a horny little brat like you...Mentally hugs Obi

Venus: Yes, I feel sorry for him too…and I miss him…

Anakin: Hey!

Venus: Shut up, Sir Bitchiness.

Alex: Yeah, you're Sir Bitchiness and Sumner is Sir Biznatch!

Venus: Laughs at private joke

Alex: Laughs at private joke

Venus: Yes, yes she is…

Maura: All right, moving on…

Venus: Oh yes, my apologies…

Alex: Ditto.

Maura: Continue, Da-cool-princess1!

Da-cool-princess1: Okay, Padme…You're a MOO-ING COW! Hehehe...

Padme: Glares

Da-cool-princess1: Honestly, what do you SEE in Anakin?

Padme: Shrugs He's hot, he's younger than me, and…Waggles eyebrows he's _Obi-Wan's_ apprentice…Licks lips

Anakin: What is _that_ supposed to mean?

Padme: Innocent look Nothing, sweetheart.

Venus: Chuckles

Da-cool-princess1: I thought Annie was a little girl with red hair...or does wittle Ani-kins like that Annie so much he wants to be called that? OR does he want to be more feminine? Probably both...

Padme: Mutters Both…

Anakin: HEY! Shifty glance That's…not…true…Another shifty glance

Venus: Skeptical look Riiiiiiiiiiiiiigh-tah.

Da-cool-princess1: Turns back to Padme Your acting really sucked in Eppy 2...maybe Lucas is going senile with his script writing, 'cause Natalie Portman is usually good on-screen, and so is Hayden Christensen! ANYWAY...that one line before the battle of Geonosis was really sickening, I puked, honestly: 'I'm not afraid to die. I've been dying a little bit each day since you've come back in my life.' Hurls excessively

Venus: I wholeheartedly agree, every single 'love scene' was horrendous! They just cut in on Obi-Wan's action!

Da-cool-princess1: Yeah, I know!

Padme: Mutters Adolescents…

Alex: Scowl Don't talk about us overly obsessive damn good looking hormonal teenagers like that or I'll have to go Secret Window on your ass too! And don't you dare think I won't! picks up screwdriver again and starts to chase Padme around the room psychotically

All teenagers: Glare at the cow YEAH!

Padme: Fine!

Da-cool-princess1: Anyway, Ginny…Danny sounds ugly.

Ginny: But he's not, and don't TALK about my man that way!

Danny: Whispers to Alex Her…man? Gulp

Alex: Silent laughter

Da-cool-princess1: Danny…you sound ugly. And weird.

Danny: I'll agree with you on the weird part, but ugly? Please! I'm a bonified Don Juan!

All: Stare

Danny: I can't help it that I'm sexy.

All: Stare some more

Danny: Shrugs Well, it worked for Draco…

Alex: Yeah, but that's because he actually IS sexy, you moron.

Draco: Smirks

Danny: Oh. Okay.

Ginny: I think you're sexy…in your own way. Smiles sweetly

Danny: Smiles

Da-cool-princess1: All right, Draco…you should whisper in my ear who you like...if not, I gots a bottle of Veritaserum! Winks Snape really needs to seal his office with a better charm, really...

Draco: Looks a little scared No, no, that's…that's quite all right, I'll keep my secrets to myself…

Venus: Hehe, my Slytherin ways are returning…hehe…

Alex: Yes, let's get his secrets so we'll all know how much he loves me! Steals bottle from reviewer

Da-cool-princess1: Yeah, just make sure to give me the bottle next time I review…

Maura: But don't get his secrets JUST yet, wait a little longer…

Venus: Cackles Yes, prolonging his doom is MUCH worse than getting it over with…

Draco: Is frightened

Da-cool-princess1: You know, Draco, you should play the guitar. You would make one badass guitar player…and a hot one at that!

Draco: Momentarily forgets impending doom I would, wouldn't I?

Venus: What a coincidence…if you want to see Draco with a guitar, keep reading my Draco/Hermione fic…"Time Heals Wounds?" You won't be disappointed…Winks

Hermione: Looks at Draco and gags

Draco: Looks at Hermione and glares

Da-cool-princess1: Got gel? Giggles

All: Stare

Da-cool-princess1: What? Has no one ever seen got milk commercials and/or read Let's Chat Again?

All: Suddenly get it

Da-cool-princess1: Tee hee…I LOVE this story…make sure to update soon, and can I have some puppy chow please? Oh, and once again, if you want Draco enough, let Alex have a little rest and…make him love you! HAHAAHAHA!

Venus: Tosses her bag Nah, if a guy can't love me for me, then he's not really all that worth it…Looks at Draco wistfully again Still, though…

Alex: Um, NO! MINE, BITCH!

Draco: No one can MAKE me love anybody else!

Venus: Ah, Draco, but that is the power of fanfiction!

Draco: Huh?

Venus: If I wanted I could make you go snog Alex right now.

Draco: What? NO!

Venus: Or Hermione, or anybody. I AM IN CONTROL! MWAHAHA!

Draco: Smirks You know, you've got an evil side to you…

Venus: Of course I do, one of my mentors was Dr. Evil, and I'm a bonified Slytherin.

Draco: Shrugs

Venus: Anyway…continue, Da-cool-princess1!

Da-cool-princess1: My last questions are for Frodo…you have REALLY REALLY blue eyes...

Frodo: Yeah, I know…the ladies seem to like them…

Venus: And why shouldn't they?

Da-cool-princess1: Your eyes are pretty…

Frodo: Blushes at both compliments

Da-cool-princess1: I wouldn't mind marrying Elijah Wood either...or Orlando Bloom...yummy!

Venus: Me too.

Alex: Ditto.

Ron: Rolls eyes

Da-cool-princess1: So...who dies? Is it Gollum? Smeagol? Oh sorry, same dude there…Aragorn? Strider? Oops, once again, same dude there…Arwen? Elrond? Legolas? Not Legolas, he's too pretty to die, like Will Turner! Oh wait…they're the same dudes too! Sam, Merry, or Pippin? Sigh I guess I'll just have to wait...

Venus: Guilty We all should know now…since well, that review was posted BEFORE Return of the King and its been like a year since we updated…

Alex: in an innocent little kid voice WE'WR SOWWY!

Venus: Oh and both Gollum and Smeagol die, if you look at that technically…and so does King Théoden. Very sad.

Alex: Nods in agreement

Da-cool-princess1: Well, bye! Disappears with a loud pop

Maura: Well, we have two reviewers left, Venus!

Venus: Great, so we're almost done! But right now its time for the…STRIP POKER! WHOO HOO!!!!!!!

Alex: YAY! DRACO NO CLOTHES = TONS OF FUN!

Ron: Discreetly glances at Alex hopefully

Venus: Hehe…time to play!

All: Gather round in a circle

Alex: Deals

Venus: Hehe, watch out, all of you! I am THE BIGGEST card shark known!

Alex: It's true, she gets VERY cocky when she wins and that's usually all the time…me, I'm not bad.

Venus: We really don't play cards together that often.

Alex: We should do it more.

Venus: Agreed. Now to…BEGIN THE GAME! WHOO HOO!

30 Minutes Later… 

**(The only people left in the game are Harry, Venus, Alex, Draco, and Anakin. Anakin is down to his Jedi tunic only** {It covers his…under parts because its very long}**, and even his Padawan braid is no longer…well…braided. Draco and Harry only have their boxers on **{Draco's are black silk, Harry's are a navy blue plaid, cotton}**. Alex and Venus still have their jeans and bras on **{Do you really want to know the color of their bras? Didn't think so!}

Alex: Is eyeing Draco's exposed body hungrily

Everyone else: Sulking because they're no longer in the game

Venus: Passes card You know, Draco, I'm surprised you're still in the game. I mean, poker? It's a Muggle game.

Draco: Exploding Snap isn't the only Wizarding card game that I know, and there's a much dirtier one called Smoogler that's similar to this.

Venus: Oh.

Alex: Ok.

Draco: And 'Draco'?

Venus: Oh yeah, you without your shirt on…couldn't help it! Besides, you haven't been too wussy lately, just hot.

Alex: Very, VERY HOT!!

Draco: Semi-scowls

Harry: Passes card Hehe, you better watch out, Malfoy, or you'll be losing your knickers!

Alex: Squeals

Draco: Stuff it, Potter, you're obviously bluffing!

Anakin: Well, I'm out. I haven't got enough money to keep going.

Venus: Maniacal grin

Harry: Passes card

Alex: Passes card

Draco: Passes card

Venus: Passes card It's down to us FOUR, boys…and Alex…and I've still got my pants, bra, AND my panties…who's gonna lose?

Alex: Me too…

Harry: Not me! And so what? One wrong move and you'll be topless!

Venus: Scowls You wouldn't dare!

Harry: Your right, I most likely wouldn't.

Draco: Ha, you haven't any guts, Potter! Pansy-ass! I would and then for once SHE would be embarrassed!

Venus: Puh-lease! Like your hand is even good enough, Draco! Besides, you'd get an eyeful and I know you don't want to see that!

Draco: Don't I? You're still a girl my age, aren't you?

Alex: smiling devilishly Yeah she is…and so am I…

Venus: Meets his determined eyes You bet I am and…ROYAL FLUSH! Lays down hand

Draco: Shit!

Harry: Fuck!

Alex: YAY!

Venus: Let's see 'em, boys and girl!

Draco: Lays down hand

Venus: Two of a kind, not bad, not bad…

Harry: Lays down hand

Venus: You've got a run in diamonds, but it still doesn't beat my royal flush!

Alex: lays down hand

Venus: surprised look on her face WHAT? HOW DID YOU GET THAT? THERE IS NO WAY THAT WE COULD BOTH GET A ROYAL FLUSH IN THE SAME GAME! IT'S JUST NOT POSSIBLE!

Alex: Well apparently, it is possible because it just happened…

Draco and Harry: Are glum

Everybody else: Okay, okay MOVING ON…

Venus: Coughs It's still not fair…Puts shirt back on

Alex: puts shirt back on Get over it already…

Draco and Harry: Put clothes back on

Alex: You could keep yours off if you wanted, Draco…Winks

Draco: Coldly That's quite all right. Mutters Psycho…

Maura: All right, it's time for some more reviewers!

Venus: Indeed!

Alex: Next up is Weaslygurl4!

Weaslygurl4: Pops in Keri (real)- So what did we think? Me (NOT REAL!)- I give it two thumbs up and an Emmy!

Alex: Um…who's me?

Weaslygurl4: A part of me, Keri…(A/N: If we made a mistake on that, please tell us and we'll fix it!)

All: Okay then.

Weaslygurl4/Keri: Dude wrong category, but anyway Venus your story is brilliant! It sounds so fun to be there, can I be a guest? I talk too much and I love karaoke! Oh and Clay Aiken too!

Venus: Sounds fun, perhaps soon you might be able to! As for the Emmy thing, who cares, it's an award! WHOO HOO! Clay Aiken's cool…he sings better than Ruben in my opinion.

Alex: That's because Ruben sucked ass!

Me- You're a loser. You beg, you can't spell, and you like Clay! Keri: Hey you know what zip it! I saw Clay in concert! Makes Me disappear I heard you have to like slap people or shake them when you need them to wake up. Maybe throw water or something, but I wouldn't trust me, I am a sucky doctor. To get back at Draco, um, someone should put a spell on him. Yeah, I think he should strip 'cause he is so sexy. But I think Ron is gorgeous too! I love Ron! I'm a blonde and I think Ron should be ashamed for saying that! Pokes Ron in the eye

Ron: Ouch! Gods, I said was sorry, and it was bloody sincere as well!

All: Ignore him

Keri: Harry isn't getting enough attention! Poor thingy! Anyway I dunno about the Hermione getting back at Alex thing 'cause I think Alex is cool, she curses! You should take this story on the road you could make trillions!

Venus: Cursing is so overrated. Intelligent banter is way cooler.

Alex: Shut up…FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Venus: Sigh I rest my case.

Me pops back up - Why make trillions when they could make billions!! Keri- You so stole that from Doctor Evil, go away! Makes me disappear again So I think Draco should strip, Ron should be punished for saying blondes are easy, I want to hug Harry 'cause he's not getting any attention-

Harry: Opens his arms

Keri- Hugs Harry

Venus: There you go.

Keri- And to wake up Alex, slap her or like throw water at her face. Or put cookies or something really good tasting under nose maybe she'll smell it!! Whoa I talk way too much, so I think I will go. I hope you have considered all my talking and will have pity on poor little me. But if you don't then that's ok, I'll still laugh and read your story 'cause it rocks the house until the roof falls off!! Ok so adios, aloha, and bye bye! Um…yeah.

Venus: Bye! Thanks for reviewing!

Draco: I'm not stripping.

Alex: Whiny Why not?

Venus: Fine.

Alex: Next up is Emes!

Emes: Appears It's so good! I agree with Alex - Draco is HOT! But she could have him if she wants. My cousin is so obsessed with him that every time she gets on the net, she goes on websites with his pictures and all and keeps on gettin' the 'oh that's soo cute' or whatever. I'm more a Daniel Radcliffe fan.

Alex: Potter? He's okay I guess. But I'm more of a Draco all the way girl! And yes, HE IS MINE!

Draco: I AM NOT YOURS!

Harry: Hey!

Emes: Anyways write more soon. Oh and to Ron Slaps Ron Slap and Bitch slaps Ron Bitch slap again!

Ron: Ow!

Emes: He deserves it. Can't wait for the next chappie! Disappears

Ron: Gods, I _did_ apologize…

Venus: Shrugs Maybe next chapter!

Ron: Yeah, maybe…Considers

Maura: Last reviewer, and let me just say I enjoyed my time here with you guys!

Alex and Venus: Great, thanks for coming!

Maura: Last reviewer is…

Venus: A really good friend of mine, Stumpy28!

(Stumpy28 appears)

Stumpy28: laughing That was hilarious. That was cool. You bring joy to my meaningless life. Bye!

Venus: Bye, and thanks for reviewing!

(Stumpy28 disappears)

Alex: Well that's it! Now all we have to do give Draco the Veritaserum and find out who he loves! I already know the answer of course, ME, but still!

Draco: NOOOOO!

Venus: Yep. Do it, Alex. Pulls out wand _Mobilicorpus!_

Draco: Becomes bound

Alex: Pours three drops into his throat

DUN, DUN, DUN…**CLIFFIE TIME**!

Now review! Yes, this is Venus and Alex and THAT is where we are ending it and now you must review and tell us who you think angsty moody evil Draco should love!

Thanks again for your reviews!

Ciao with love,

Lindsay and Alex

P.S. You will win a hug from whatever celebrity you want if you can guess between who 'wrote' (sat and typed it) the first half or the second half of this chapter…and a year-long supply of puppy chow!

Oh, and Draco was definitely generous in this chapter, no? Alex got a kiss, and Venus got a compliment thingie…anywho, REVIEW!


End file.
